Pussy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Contest: Beer vs. Pussy
A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement. Advantage: Beer.
A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot. Advantage: Pussy.
Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice cold pussy makes you married. Advantage: Beer.
Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not. Advantage: Draw.
If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted. Advantage: Pussy
24 beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you can come in. Advantage: Pussy.
Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer. Advantage: Pussy.
If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible. Advantage: Beer.
If you come home smelling like beer, The Woman may get mad. If you come home smelling like pussy - you're dead. Advantage: Beer.
6 beers in a night and you better not drive. 6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need. Advantage: Pussy
Too much beer and more...

Q: What's the difference between driving in the fog and eating pussy?
A: When you're eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you!

Q: What's the difference between driving in the fog and eating pussy? A: When you're eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you!

Woman: Doctor, my husband tells me my pussy's too big. So I'd like you to tell me if you find it unusual. Doctor: Please, take off your clothes and I'll have you examined. Doctor (shouting): What a giant pussy!! What a giant pussy!! Woman (angry): Did you have to say it twice?!? Doctor: I didn't! I didn't!

A little boy comes home from school and asks his mother what a pussy is. The boy's mother gets out a dictionary and shows him a picture of a cat. The boy then asks his mom what a bitch is. The mother turns the pages until she finds a picture of a dog.
When the boy's father gets home from work, the boy asks him what a pussy is. His father gets out a Playboy, opens it up to the centerfold, and draws a circle around the Playmate's pussy. The boy then asks his father to explain what a bitch is?
The father looks at his son and says, "A bitch is everything outside the circle."

Yo Mama's pussy is so hairy, when your brother was born he died of rugburn!

There was a shoe sales man sitting in his store when a beautiful woman comes in. He looks at her and can't stop staring. While helping her try on a pair of shoes he glances up her skirt to find she isn't wearing any panties. He started thinking and something slipped out. The man said "I'd like to fill your pussy with ice cream and lick it all out!" Hearing this the woman runs out to tell her husband. She says, "Honey, this shoe salesman said he'd like to fill my pussy up with ice cream and lick it all out!" "Now go kick his ass!". The husband replied "Dear, anyone that can eat that much ice cream, I ain't fuckin' with!"