Pot Jokes / Recent Jokes
A circus owner walks into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap-dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheelin’ and dealin’ they settled for $10, 000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, “Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn’t dance a single step! ” “So? ” asked the ducks former owner, “did you remember to light the candle under the pot? ”
"Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time." "Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam." "Virgin like balloon. . . one prick, all gone." "Baseball wrong. . . man with four balls cannot walk!" "Work to become, not to acquire." "Baby conceived in automatic car shiftless bastard." "A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose." "Find old man in dark, not hard!" "Man who smoke pot choke on handle." "Ok for shit to happen. . . will decompose." "Man who put head on Rail Road track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache." "Sailor who gets discharged from navy leave buddies behind." "Secretary becomes permanent fixture when screwed on desk." "Don't drink and park, accidents cause people." "He who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty double crosser." "Man who tell one to many light bulb jokes soon burn more...
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show.
On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it.
The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner.
After some wheeling and dealing they settled for $10, 000 for the duck and the pot.
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, “Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn’t dance a single step! ” “So? ” asked the duck’s former owner, “did you remember to light the candle under the pot? ”
Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be a shiftless bastard. Man who lay girl on hill not on level. He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab. Wife who put man in dog house find him in cat house. Man who farts in church sits alone in pew. Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand. Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot very unsanitary. Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing. Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down. Man with athletic finger make broad jump. Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts. Seven days on honeymoon make one hole weak. Modern house without toilet uncanny. Woman who springs on inner-spring this spring, gets off-spring next spring Nail on board is not good as screw on bench. Short man who dance with tall woman get bust in mouth. Man who lay woman on ground has peace on earth. Man who sleep on railroad tracks wake up with split personality. more...
Confucius say... Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary. Man who fart in church sit in own pew. Baseball very funny game--man with 4 balls no can walk!! Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom. Man who fly plane upside down have crackup. Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day. Woman who ride bicycle in city pedal ass all over town. Secretary not permanent, till screwed on desk. A girl's best asset is her' lie'ability. Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have! Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor. Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake with smelly finger. Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless bastard. Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand. Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing. Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down. Man with atletic finger make broad jump. more...
A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner.
He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mum, I have something to tell you: I'm gay."
His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay, doesn't that mean you have oral sex with other men?"
The guy said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mum, that's right."
His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around and WHACKED him over the head with her spoon and said, "Don't you EVER complain about the taste of my cooking again!!!!!"