Polite Jokes / Recent Jokes
While I was working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her shot.
"NO! NO! NO!" she screamed.
"Lizzie," her mother scolded. "That's not polite behavior."
At that, the girl yelled even louder, "NO, THANK YOU! NO, THANK YOU!"
Q: What is polite and works for the phone company?
A: A deferential operator...
A little boy and girl are playing outside in the back yard. The little boy has to go to the bathroom, but his mother taught him to always be polite and never talk about private matters in public.
He tries very hard to hold it in, unsure of what he should say to the little girl to excuse himself. Then he remembers what he's heard his mother say at restaurants when she's had to excuse herself from the table.
He turns to the little girl and says, "Will you excuse me, please. I must go powder my nose." He then darts into the house.
When he returns, the little girl looks at him and says, "Did you powder your nose?"
"Yes," the little boy shyly replies.
"Well then," the little girl says, "you'd better close your purse because your lipstick is hanging out."
Little Johnny and Jane are playing in a sandbox. Little Johnny has to go to take a pee but he was told by his mother to always be polite and don't talk about private matters in public.
At first he holds it in for a little while because he does not know what to say Jane to excuse himself. Then he remembers what his Mom had said at the restaurant to excuse herself from the table.
So he turns to Jane and says "Will you excuse me I have to go powder my nose." And saying that he leaps out of the sandbox and runs to the washroom.
When he comes back Jane looks up at him and asks, "Did you powder your nose?"
"Yes" said Little Johnny stepping back into the sandbox.
"Well then" says Jane, "You'd better close your compact because your lipstick is hanging out!"