Pint Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pubtogether. The proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Justas they were about to enjoy their beverage three flies landed ineach of their pints. The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continueddrinking it as if nothing had happened. The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking itover the pint, yelling... "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!"

One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub
together. The proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Just
as they were about to enjoy their beverage three flies landed in
each of their pints.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued
drinking it as if nothing had happened.
The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it
over the pint, yelling... "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!"

Fred and his brother, "Donkey" walk into a pub and Fred gets the first pint in and says, "I'll have a pint for me and a pint for Donkey."
The two guys drink their pints and Fred says, "Right donkey your round; I'll have a pint of Guiness."
Donkey walks up to the bar and says, "2 p p p p pints of g g g g Guiness p p p please."
While donkey gets the pints, Fred goes to the toilet and the barman says, "Say, you shouldn't let him call you that stupid nickname."
Donkey replies, "I know. He aw.. he aww... he awwwwww, he always calls me 'Donkey.'"

One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pubtogether. The proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Justas they were about to enjoy their beverage three flies landed ineach of their pints.The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continueddrinking it as if nothing had happened.The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking itover the pint, yelling... "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!"

A vampire walked into a pub and went up to the bar and asked can I have a pint of blood, mate? The barman looks at his suspiciously and then says sorry mate we do not sell blood. The vampire walks out and walks into the next pub and the same reply was given as before. He starts to get annoyed and so he walks into the pub at the end of the road and asks the barman can I have a pint of hot water please, mate? The barman looks at him and then gives him the pint of hot water. He then asks whats with the hot water? The vampire pulls out his tampon and says tea-time!!

a vampire walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of blood, naturally the barman tells him to get lost. an hour later another vampire walks into a bar and asks for a pint of blood, again the baraman tells him to get lost. an hour later another vampire walks into the bar, but before he can say anything the barman says "i guess you want a pint of blood" the vampire replies " no thanks a pint of warm water will do just fine" the barman then exclaims " but all the other vampires wanted blood" the vampire then pulls out a used tampon from his pocket and says "its all right, ive got a teabag"

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness.

Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.

The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint.

The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.

The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"