Pig Jokes / Recent Jokes
A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says,' 'Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?''
Then the lady answered,' 'Excuse me, I think this is a goose.''
And the bartender says,' 'Excuse me, I was talking to the goose.''
Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"
Nature has many laws that hold fast and true.
For example, a baby ape will always grow-up to be an ape; likewise, a baby baboon will become an adult baboon.
A baby pig will mature into a full grown pig.
A baby jackass will always become a jackass.
Yet oddly enough, women say a young man may grow-up to be any one of these.
Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world. Things are more like they are today than they ever were before. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody. All things being equal, fat people use more soap. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it. Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view. The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to press on it. The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
Pigs explanation for the creation of the Universe: The Pig Bang Theory.
When they reached their table, their server asked them what they would like to drink.
"I would like a large glass of Coke," replied the first little pig.
"I would like a large glass of Sprite," said the second little pig.
"I would like a large glass of water," laughed the third little pig. After the server returned with their drinks, he asked what they would like to eat.
"I'd like a big juicy steak," replied the first pig.
"I'd like a big crispy hamburger," said the second pig.
"I'd like a large glass of water," laughed the third pig.
After the waitress brought them their meals, he asked water they would like for desert.
"I'd like a big chocolate sundae," replied the first pig.
"I'd like a big slice of Hershey pie," said the second pig.
"I'd like a large glass of water," laughed the third pig.
So the server brought them their more...