Pharmacist Jokes / Recent Jokes
A duck walks into a drugstore and says to the pharmacist, "Gimme a chap stick."
The pharmacist asks the duck, "Will that be cash or charge?" The duck replies, "Just put it on my bill."
The next day, the duck goes back to the drugstore and says to the clerk, "Give me a box of condoms."
The clerk says, "Do you want me to also put them on your bill?" The duck says, "Hell no, I'm not that kind of duck!"
A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups.
The pharmacist promptly reaches down, pulls out a knife, and lunges at the man.
The man backs away and yells "WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?"
"Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore do you?" replies the pharmacist.
The man says, "No I don't, you jerk; but my wife out in the car still does!"
This guy goes to the pharmacist and says, "Listen, these two girls are coming to my place for the weekend and they are hot, very hot. Would you have something to get me going all night. It is going to be a hell of a party."
The pharmacist goes in the back room, comes back with an old dusty bottle and says, "This stuff is very potent, you drink only one ounce of it and I guarantee that you will be doing the wild thing all night. Let me know about it."
The weekend goes by and on Monday morning, the pharmacist is going to work and at the door of the drug store, the same fellow is there waiting for him. The pharmacist says, "What are you doing here so early? How was your weekend?"
The guy replies, "Quick open the store, I need Blue Ice (a pain muscle reliever).
The pharmacist, knowing what the guy had been doing all weekend, says, "Are you crazy, you can't put that on your penis. The skin is way too sensitive."
The guy says, more...
This guy goes to the pharmacist and says, "Listen, these two girls are coming to my place for the weekend and they are hot, very hot. Would you have something to get me going all night. It is going to be hell of a party." The pharmacist goes in the back room, comes back with an old dusty bottle and says, "This stuff is very potent, you drink only one ounce of it and I guarantee that you will be doing the wild thing all night. Let me know about it." The weekend goes by and on Monday morning, the pharmacist is going to work and at the door of the drug store, the same fellow is there waiting for him. The pharmacist says, "What are you doing here so early? How was your weekend?" The guy replies, "Quick open the store, I need Blue Ice (a pain muscle reliever). The pharmacist, knowing what the guy had been doing all weekend, says, "Are you crazy, you can't put that on your penis. The skin is way too sensitive." The guy says, "It's not for my more...
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.
The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks
which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's
really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night.
We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out.
And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that.
Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give
me the 12 pack."
The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her
parents.
He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the
prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a
religious person."
He leans more...
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well", he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's THE night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack". The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person". He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist".
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob
suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:'Are you the owner?' The pharmacist answers yes.Says Jacob:' We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?' Pharmacist:' Of course we do.'Jacob:' How about medicine for circulation?'
Pharmacist:' All kinds.'Jacob:' Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis?' Pharmacist:' Definitely.'Jacob:' How about Viagra?' Pharmacist:' Of course.'Jacob:' Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?'Pharmacist:' Yes, a large variety. The works.'Jacob:' What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?' Pharmacist:' Absolutely.'Jacob:' You sell wheelchairs and walkers?' Pharmacist:' All speeds and sizes.'Jacob says to the pharmacist:' We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts, please.'