Peeves Jokes / Recent Jokes
After dramatic entrance at scene of crime, having to convince everybody he's not a professional wrestler
When you can see the outline of his underwear through the Bat suit
Punks who gather round and smart off while he's getting gas for the Batmobile
Nuclear power source for utility belt has rendered him sterile
When really stupid people shout out, "Hey! Where's Tonto?"
When dry cleaner accidentally switches Bat suit and San Diego Chicken costume
When an episode focuses way too much on Jake (Oh, I'm sorry. That's one of the pet peeves of the "Fatman")
Seeing Alfred the butler talking to Albert Goldman
The way any two-bit moron with a flashlight and a piece of cardboard can summon him at night
When people call him "The Batman." It's just "Batman," damn it!
Department Store Santa Peeves
8. Kids who refuse to believe that it's fruitcake on your breath and not gin.
7. When the last guy to use the beard leaves bits of his lunch in it.
6. Even with the costume, people recognizing you from "Crime Watch"
5. Parents who get all uptight when you offer their kids a swig from your hip flask
4. Enduring the taunts of your old buddies from Drama School
3. Those dorks in the Power Rangers costumes get all the babes
2. Kids who don't understand that Santa's been a little jittery since he got back from' Nam
1. Two words: lap rash
15 Pet Peeves Of Morticians... Best make-up artist in the world, but your models never make the cover of Cosmo. No moth, no Jodie Foster -- just leaves, dirt, and regular dead folks. Only 3 hits this month on the "World O' Coffins" web site. Tough to convince anyone to let you place bodies in action poses. Ask any chem prof what happens when you mix embalming fluid and breast implants... WHAMMO! Working alone late at night inevitably results in an extreme attack of "the willies." Hard to close the lid on Eroto-Asphyxiation victims. Embalming fluid bottle looks an *awful* lot like Colt 45 bottle. Toe tag paper cuts. The wife keeps asking if you could bring a little more rigor mortis home, if you know what I mean. Nobody visits your booth at junior high "Career Days." Every time Keith Richards gets mistakenly hauled in, it costs *us* money. At Thanksgiving, no one even TOUCHES your giblet gravy. Constant complaints of, "But he looks like Michael more...
15 Pet Peeves Of Morticians...
Best make-up artist in the world, but your models never make the cover of Cosmo.
No moth, no Jodie Foster - just leaves, dirt, and regular dead folks.
Only 3 hits this month on the "World O' Coffins" web site.
Tough to convince anyone to let you place bodies in action poses.
Ask any chem prof what happens when you mix embalming fluid and breast implants... WHAMMO!
Working alone late at night inevitably results in an extreme attack of "the willies."
Hard to close the lid on Eroto-Asphyxiation victims.
Embalming fluid bottle looks an *awful* lot like Colt 45 bottle.
Toe tag paper cuts.
The wife keeps asking if you could bring a little more rigor mortis home, if you know what I mean.
Nobody visits your booth at junior high "Career Days."
Every time Keith Richards gets mistakenly hauled in, it costs *us* money.
At Thanksgiving, no one even TOUCHES your giblet more...
15 Pet Peeves Of Morticians...Best make-up artist in the world, but your models never make the cover of Cosmo.No moth, no Jodie Foster - just leaves, dirt, and regular dead folks.Only 3 hits this month on the "World O' Coffins" web site.Tough to convince anyone to let you place bodies in action poses.Ask any chem prof what happens when you mix embalming fluid and breast implants... WHAMMO! Working alone late at night inevitably results in an extreme attack of "the willies."Hard to close the lid on Eroto-Asphyxiation victims.Embalming fluid bottle looks an *awful* lot like Colt 45 bottle.Toe tag paper cuts.The wife keeps asking if you could bring a little more rigor mortis home, if you know what I mean.Nobody visits your booth at junior high "Career Days."Every time Keith Richards gets mistakenly hauled in, it costs *us* money.At Thanksgiving, no one even TOUCHES your giblet gravy.Constant complaints of, "But he looks like Michael Jackson!"and more...