Peel Jokes / Recent Jokes

Soldier Ivanov was ordered to peel a barrel of potatos. - In this day and age, the army should have a machine to peel potatos, complains Ivanov. - Absolutely, answered the sergeant. And you are its latest model.

An apple, a banana and a penis are having a conversation.
Apple: I hate humans!
Others: Why?
Apple: They peel me, cut & eat me and throw my seeds away, thats why.
Banana: Is that all? I hate humans more than you do.
Others: Why?
Banana: They peel me, eat me, throw my skin away and step on it.
Penis: I hate humans the most.
Others: Why?
Penis: My master Puts this plastic bag over me, Put me in this really dark cave and make me do push-ups till I spew!

There were 3 men, a chiness japenesse and an american. They all
went flying in an airplane then they flew over china
and the chiness dopped an apple to represent his country then
they landed the plane in china and saw some1 crying and asked
him what was a matter he said he was walkin down the street and
a apple fell out of the sky and hit him in the head so
they got in the plane and flew over japan and the japanesse man
dropped a bannana peel in japan so they landed in japan and
saw a guy crying and they asked him why he was crying and the
boy said he was walkin down the street and slipped on a bannana
peel so they got back in the plane and flew over america and
the american dropped a bomb and then they landed the
plane and saw some1 crying and they asked him why was he crying?
and he said he walked by his house and he farted and his house
blew up

Beatrice Lillie (Lady Peel) was once accosted by a haughty old dowager who scrutinized her through her lorgnettes. "What lovely pearls, dear Beatrice," she maliciously remarked. "Are they real?" Yes, nodded Lady Peel. "Of course," the dowager declared, "you can always tell real pearls by biting them. May I try?" "Gladly," Lady Peel replied. "But remember, Duchess, you can't tell real pearls with false teeth."

Customer: How much is that banana for?

Salesperson: $1. 00

Customer: Can you sell it to me for 60 cents?

Salesperson: At that rate, you will only get the banana peel!

Customer: Okay I will buy the banana for 40 cents, but you can keep the peel!

One day santa was going along a road, and suddenly he slipped. He saw that there was a banana peel. Again he started walking, he saw another bana peel on the road... And do u know, what he started thinking? He thought that. ... Now i will have to slip once again.

A blonde walks down the street and sees a banana peel a hundred yards ahead, and she sighs.
"Here we go again."