Pear Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    what hangs of a pear tree?
    sore arms

    Knock Knock
    Who's there!
    Pear!
    Pear who?
    Pear of shoes!

    The first day after Christmas
    My true love and I had a fight
    And so I chopped the pear tree down
    And burnt it, just for spite
    Then with a single cartridge
    I shot that blasted partridge

    My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

    The second day after Christmas
    I pulled on the old rubber gloves
    And very gently wrung the necks
    Of both the turtle doves

    My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

    On the third day after Christmas
    My mother caught the croup
    I had to use the three French hens
    To make some chicken soup

    The four calling birds were a big mistake
    For their language was obscene
    The five golden rings were completely fake
    and turned my fingers green.

    The sixth day after Christmas
    The six laying geese wouldn't lay
    So I sent the whole darn gaggle to the A.S.P.C.A.

    On the seventh day, what a mess I found
    The more...

    The Twelve Days After Christmas
    The first day after Christmas
    My true love and I had a fight
    And so I chopped the pear tree down
    And burnt it, just for spite
    Then with a single cartridge
    I shot that blasted partridge
    My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.
    The second day after Christmas
    I pulled on the old rubber gloves
    And very gently wrung the necks
    Of both the turtle doves
    My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.
    On the third day after Christmas
    My mother caught the croup
    I had to use the three French hens
    To make some chicken soup [peop100078_x51.WMF (46812 bytes)]
    The four calling birds were a big mistake
    For their language was obscene
    The five golden rings were completely fake
    and turned my fingers green.
    The sixth day after Christmas
    The six laying geese wouldn't lay
    So I sent the whole darn gaggle to the A.S.P.C.A.
    On the seventh day, what a mess I more...

    Harry: Please may I have another pear, Miss Smith?
    Teacher: Another, Harry? They don't grow on trees, you know.

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