Pear Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    what hangs of a pear tree?
    sore arms

    Knock Knock
    Who's there!
    Pear!
    Pear who?
    Pear of shoes!

    Day 1 Dear Emile, Thanks for da bird in the Pear tree. I fixed it las
    night with dirty rice an it was delicious. I doan tink the Pear tree
    would grow in de swamp, so I swapped it for a Satsuma.
    Day 2 Dear Emile, Your letter said you sent 2 turtle dove, but all I got
    was 2 scrawny pigeon.
    Anyway, I mixed them with andouille and made some gumbo out of dem.
    Day 3 Dear Emile, Why doan you sen me some crawfish? I’m tired of
    eating dem darned bird. I gave two of those prissy French chicken to
    Mrs. Fontenot over at Grand Chenier, and fed the tird one to my dog,
    Phideaux. Mrs. Fontenot needed some sparring partners for her fighting
    rooster.
    Day 4 Dear Emile, Mon Dieux! I tole you no more of dem bird. Deez
    four, what you call “calling bird” wuz so noisy you could hear dem all
    da’ way to Lafayette. I used they necks for my crab traps, and fed the
    rest of dem to the gators.
    Day 5 Dear Emile, You finally sent more...

    The first day after Christmas
    My true love and I had a fight
    And so I chopped the pear tree down
    And burnt it, just for spite
    Then with a single cartridge
    I shot that blasted partridge

    My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

    The second day after Christmas
    I pulled on the old rubber gloves
    And very gently wrung the necks
    Of both the turtle doves

    My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

    On the third day after Christmas
    My mother caught the croup
    I had to use the three French hens
    To make some chicken soup

    The four calling birds were a big mistake
    For their language was obscene
    The five golden rings were completely fake
    and turned my fingers green.

    The sixth day after Christmas
    The six laying geese wouldn't lay
    So I sent the whole darn gaggle to the A.S.P.C.A.

    On the seventh day, what a mess I found
    The more...

    The Twelve Days After Christmas
    The first day after Christmas
    My true love and I had a fight
    And so I chopped the pear tree down
    And burnt it, just for spite
    Then with a single cartridge
    I shot that blasted partridge
    My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.
    The second day after Christmas
    I pulled on the old rubber gloves
    And very gently wrung the necks
    Of both the turtle doves
    My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.
    On the third day after Christmas
    My mother caught the croup
    I had to use the three French hens
    To make some chicken soup [peop100078_x51.WMF (46812 bytes)]
    The four calling birds were a big mistake
    For their language was obscene
    The five golden rings were completely fake
    and turned my fingers green.
    The sixth day after Christmas
    The six laying geese wouldn't lay
    So I sent the whole darn gaggle to the A.S.P.C.A.
    On the seventh day, what a mess I more...

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