Doves Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The first day after Christmas
    My true love and I had a fight
    And so I chopped the pear tree down
    And burnt it, just for spite
    Then with a single cartridge
    I shot that blasted partridge

    My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

    The second day after Christmas
    I pulled on the old rubber gloves
    And very gently wrung the necks
    Of both the turtle doves

    My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

    On the third day after Christmas
    My mother caught the croup
    I had to use the three French hens
    To make some chicken soup

    The four calling birds were a big mistake
    For their language was obscene
    The five golden rings were completely fake
    and turned my fingers green.

    The sixth day after Christmas
    The six laying geese wouldn't lay
    So I sent the whole darn gaggle to the A.S.P.C.A.

    On the seventh day, what a mess I found
    The more...

    The Twelve Days After Christmas
    The first day after Christmas
    My true love and I had a fight
    And so I chopped the pear tree down
    And burnt it, just for spite
    Then with a single cartridge
    I shot that blasted partridge
    My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.
    The second day after Christmas
    I pulled on the old rubber gloves
    And very gently wrung the necks
    Of both the turtle doves
    My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.
    On the third day after Christmas
    My mother caught the croup
    I had to use the three French hens
    To make some chicken soup [peop100078_x51.WMF (46812 bytes)]
    The four calling birds were a big mistake
    For their language was obscene
    The five golden rings were completely fake
    and turned my fingers green.
    The sixth day after Christmas
    The six laying geese wouldn't lay
    So I sent the whole darn gaggle to the A.S.P.C.A.
    On the seventh day, what a mess I more...

    THE TWELVE DAYS AFTER CHRISTMAS

    The first day after Christmas
    My true love and I had a fight
    And so I chopped the pear tree down
    And burnt it, just for spite

    Then with a single cartridge
    I shot that blasted partridge

    My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

    The second day after Christmas
    I pulled on the old rubber gloves
    And very gently wrung the necks
    Of both the turtle doves

    My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

    On the third day after Christmas
    My mother caught the croup
    I had to use the three French hens
    To make some chicken soup

    The four calling birds were a big mistake
    For their language was obscene
    The five golden rings were completely fake
    and turned my fingers green.

    The sixth day after Christmas
    The six laying geese wouldn't lay
    So I sent the whole darn gaggle to the
    A. S. P. C. more...

    The first day after Christmas
    My true love and I had a fight
    And so I chopped the pear tree down
    And burnt it, just for spite

    Then with a single cartridge
    I shot that blasted partridge

    My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

    The second day after Christmas
    I pulled on the old rubber gloves
    And very gently wrung the necks
    Of both the turtle doves

    My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

    On the third day after Christmas
    My mother caught the croup
    I had to use the three French hens
    To make some chicken soup

    The four calling birds were a big mistake
    For their language was obscene
    The five golden rings were completely fake
    and turned my fingers green.

    The sixth day after Christmas
    The six laying geese wouldn't lay
    So I sent the whole darn gaggle to the
    A. S. P. C. A.

    On the seventh day, what a mess I more...

    The price of giving all the items bestowed by the "true love" of the song
    "The Twelve Days of Christmas" may be a little beyond most people's
    budget. The following costs were calculated for 1998, based upon a
    report issued in 1995 by PNC Bank Corp., assuming an annual rate of
    inflation of 2. 5 percent

    1. Partridge in a pear tree $38
    2. Turtle doves $54
    3. French hens $16
    4. Calling birds $302
    5. Gold rings $485
    6. Geese-a-laying $162
    7. Swans-a-swimming $7, 538
    8. Maids-a-milking $37
    9. Pipers piping $2, 807
    10. Ladies dancing $3, 245
    11. Lords-a-leaping $1, 194
    12. Drummers drumming $1, 293

    Total to give gifts once $17, 170
    Total to give as in song* $78, 986

    * Singing the song in its entirety results in 364 presents. The partridge
    is given 12 times, two doves 11 times (22 total), etc., etc., etc...

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