Paycheck Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What's the difference between a penis and a paycheck? A: You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

Q. What's the difference between your paycheck and your cock?
A. You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

Yesterday, I helped my mother-in-law get set up on email for the first time. She got frustrated from time to time. Upon reflection, I decided that frustration was perfectly understandable. Imagine trying to learn to write a letter for the first time...
Me: Ok, to write a letter, the first thing you need is a piece of paper and a pen.
Tarzan: What are those?
Me: Paper is flat stuff that is made from tree pulp, sort of like a very small blackboard. Pens are sticks that write, sort of like chalk but smaller and in darker colors.
Tarzan: Is this paper?
Me: Ah, yes, that is paper, but you don't want to write a letter on that, that's my paycheck.
Tarzan: Why can't I use this?
Me: Well, that's a representation of money that I... uh, never mind. Just don't write on that. Look, here's a piece of paper that you can write on.
Tarzan: What about a pen?
Me: Pens are like little sticks. Do you see anything on this desk that
looks
like a little stick? Uh, more...

Q. Why did God give men penises?
A. So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
Q. What's the difference between a paycheck and your dick?
A. You don't have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.
Q. What are the small bumps around a woman's' nipples for?
A. Its Braille for "suck here".
Q. Why do men die before their wives?
A. They want to.
Q. Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
A. He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
Q. Why do women have tits?
A. So men will talk to them.
Q. What's the difference between a woman and a coffin?
A. You come in one and go in the other.
Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex?
A. They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.
Q. What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?
A. Money.
Q. Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
A. When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house more...

No One But The Creator Understands Their Internal Logic. • The Native Language They Use To Communicate With Other Computers
Is Incomprehensible To Everyone Else. • Even Your Smallest Mistakes Are Stored In Long-Term Memory For Later Retrieval. • As
Soon As You Make A Commitment To One, You Find Yourself Spending Half Your Paycheck On Accessories For It. • You Do The Same
Thing For Years, And Suddenly It's Wrong.

Q. What's the difference between a paycheck and your penis?
A. You don't have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.

Q A worker who was being paid by the week approached his employer and held up his last paycheck. "This is two hundred dollars less than we agreed on," he said.

"I know," the employer said. "But last week I overpaid you two hundred dollars, and you never complained."
"Well, I don''t mind an occasional mistake," the worker answered, "but when it gets to be a habit, I feel I have to call it to your attention."