Pattern Jokes

A mysterious X-shaped pattern of space debris seen by NASA's Hubble Space Telescope was probably two asteroids that collided, scientists said Tuesday. Scientists believe the collision happened when one of the asteroids suddenly accelerated. Scientists are calling the pattern of debris the Toyota Camry.

(An amusing anecdote from the Jan 26 San Jose Mercury News.)
Nearly everyone knows that Judith Martin, better known as Miss
Manners, the syndicated columnist, is exceedingly correct. Last
week, she saw an advertisement in the newspaper that a Maryland
jewelry store was having a sale in her silver pattern. Upon arriving
at the store, she told the jeweler she was looking for additional
dessert spoons in her pattern and had been making do with the larger
soup spoons.
"That's not much of a hardship," the employee said. "It is
for me," Martin responded. Caught up in the moment, the saleswoman
joked, "Who do you think you are, Miss Manners?" The easily
recognizable Miss Manners looked at the woman, unable to respond. And
then it registered. "Oh my God!" the saleswoman said.

A drummer sits behind the drumset and the band leader says, "Can you play a samba pattern with your bass drum?"
The drummer obliges with a quick "boom b boom" samba pattern.
The band leader then asks, "Can you add a Mozambique cowbell pattern along with that with your right hand?"
The drummer thinks to himself, "I can do that, no problem" and obliges, giving it his best Steve Gadd possible. He is then told, "Now add a 2/3 clave with your left foot on the hi hat."
The drummer's struggling a bit with this one but finally works it out and stiffins his back, all proud of himself.
Next he hears, "Now add a cascara pattern on the snare with your left hand." Years of studying Gary Chester books and listening to world music finally come to fruition and the relieved drummer finds he can play the whole pattern with no problem.
Pleased with himself, he asks the band leader "So, do I get the more...

Suddenly one of the employees in an organization took 10 days Leave without any notice. When he returned his PL asked for explanation. The employee said "Sir, my mom died unexpectedly". The PL let it go at that.
After 3 months the same pattern repeated, and this time he said his father died. Then the PL got changed. After 3 months the same pattern repeated. And the employee gave the explanation that his mom died.
After 3 months same thing again... and this time his father died. This happened repeatedly for 2 years. At the end, one PL checked his past records and told him, "I have caught you red handed, How come in the past 2 years, your mom has died 5 times, and your dad has died five times?"
To which the guy said, "Sir, my mom died and my father remarried. Then my father died and my new mom remarried. Then my mom died and the new father remarried. This has been going on and on and on and..."!!!!!

Nearly everyone knows that Judith Martin, better known as Miss
Manners, the syndicated columnist, is exceedingly correct. Last
week, she saw an advertisement in the newspaper that a Maryland
jewelry store was having a sale in her silver pattern. Upon arriving
at the store, she told the jeweler she was looking for additional
dessert spoons in her pattern and had been making do with the larger
soup spoons.
"That's not much of a hardship," the employee said. "It is
for me," Martin responded. Caught up in the moment, the saleswoman
joked, "Who do you think you are, Miss Manners?" The easily
recognizable Miss Manners looked at the woman, unable to respond. And
then it registered. "Oh my God!" the saleswoman said.
from the Jan 26 San Jose Mercury News