Pakistani Jokes / Recent Jokes

TALL, young and beautiful Moni, a feature writer in the Friday Times of Lahore, a paper edited by her sister, Jugnu Sethi (wife of publisher Najam Sethi), was in Delhi for a few days. While discussing problems facing the two countries, she agreed that in neither was family planning being taken as seriously as it deserved.

She was given many instances of the bungling done in India. She
was told of the fate of Raj Kumari Amrit Kaur's flirtation with the rhythm method.

The latter had introduced rosaries with beads of three colours indicating safe, doubtful and unsafe periods for sexual intercourse. She did not realise that most humans mated at night when colours were not visible. So down the drain went a few crore rupees.

Moni capped it with an anecdote from Pakistan. Volunteers were recruited from colleges and sent out to villages to explain the importance of limiting numbers of children. They were given condoms to be distributed free to those who more...

A pakistani was sitting with an indian and malaysianin saudi arabia, sharing a smuggled barrel of beer, when all of a
Sudden saudi police entered and arrested them. But, as it was a nationalholiday, the sheikh decided they should be released after receiving20 lashes of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the sheikh suddenly said:
“i allow each of you one wish before your whipping. ”
So the malaysian guy thought for a while and then
Said: “please tie a pillow to my back. ” This was done but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through.
The indian guy, watching the scene, said: “please fix two pillows on my back”. But even two pillows could only take 10
Lashes before the whip went through again. Sheikh turned to pakistani and said: “you are from a brother country, so you can have 2 wishes! ”
“thank you, most royal and merciful highness”, the pakistani replies.
“my first wish is: i would more...

Englishman:
Throws his mug away and walks out

American:
Takes the insect out and drinks the beer

Chinese:
Eats the insect and throws the beer away

Pakistani:
Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of beer.

Indian:
Accuses the Pakistani for throwing insect into his beer
Relates the issue to Kashmir
Asks the Chinese for Military aid
Takes a loan from the American to buy one more mug of beer

PAKISTAN Prime Minister, Ms Benazir Bhutto, while addressing a meeting of PPP workers:' I want you to know that when I became Prime Minister the country's economy stood on the edge of an abyss. I am proud to tell you that since then we have made a brave step forward.'

There was once a Indian and an Pakistani who lived next door to each other. The Indian owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast. One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Pakistani's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Pakistani pick up the egg. The Indian ran up to the Pakistani and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Pakistani disagreed because the egg was laid on his property. They argued for a while until finally the Indian said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up, who ever gets up quicker wins the egg." The Pakistani agreed to this and so the Indian found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the Pakistani more...

A large group of Pakistani soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a Indian voice call from behind a sand dune. "One Indian Army soldier is better than ten Pakistanis."
The Pakistani commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun battle breaks and continues for a few minutes, then silence.
The voice then calls out "One Indian Army soldier is better than fifty Pakistanis."
Furious, the Pakistani commander sends his next best 50 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The Indian voice calls out again "One Indian Army soldier is better than one hundred Pakistanis."
The enraged Pakistani Commander musters one hundred of his best fighters and sends then across the dune. Gunfire, grenades, machine gun fire, rockets, etc. ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence.
Eventually one wounded Pakistani fighter crawls back over the dune more...

There was once a indian and an pakistani who lived next door to each other. The indian owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.

One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the pakistani's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the pakistani pick up the egg. The indian ran up to the pakistani and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The pakistani disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.

They argued for a while until finally the indian said, "in my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: i kick your back and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me and time how long it takes for me to get up, who ever gets up quicker wins the egg."

The pakistani agreed to this and so the indian found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward more...