Pakistani Jokes / Recent Jokes

While vacationing in Pakistan, a married couple were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with a Pakistani accent say, ""You, foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop." So, the couple entered.
"I have some special sandals I think you'd be interested in. They make you wild at sex like a great desert camel," the Pakistani man said to them.
After what the Pakistani man claimed, the wife was very interesting in buying the sandals. However, her husband felt he didn't need them at all, being the sex god he was, so he asked the shop owner, "How can sandals make you into a sex freak?" The Pakistani man replied by saying, "Just try them on."
After considerable badgering from his wife, the husband conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many more...

At the time of Indo-Pak war in 1971, Pakistan Air Force had just acquired the state of the art Sabre jet from US. The jet had some outstanding technical features which were being explained by a US instructor to some trainee Paksitani pilots. The US instructor explained the aircraft`s automatic take off, automatic maneuvring, automatic supersonic acceleration, automatic weapon loading and automatic firing.

Eventually, one Pakistani pilot asked, "Sir, How do we land this aircraft?"

The US instructor said, "Son, Leave that to the Indian Air Force."

GENERAL Gul Hasan who served both under Mr M. A. Jinnah and Zulfi Bhutto recounts the two men's behaviour at a railway level crossing and at a traffic signal in his Memoirs:

'On one of these drives, the rail crossing at Malir was shut and our car stopped. I looked around and saw that the train was some distance away, so I went to the gatekeeper and asked him to let us go through, of course, telling him who was in the car.

He obliged. I returned to my seat next to the driver, Aziz, and told him to move on. He answered that the Quaid-i-Azam had told him to stay put. Just then the Governor-General told me to go and tell the gatekeeper to close the gate. I did as I was bid and resumed my seat.

He then said, "Gul, do you know why I told the driver not to move the car?" I replied,' No, sir.' He said the reason was simple: "If I do not obey the law, how should I expect others to do so?" This brief statement affected me more...

GENERAL Gul Hasan in his Memoirs has one amusing episode about the famous wrestler Gama who migrated from Patiala to Pakistan in 1947.

'When everyone had eaten, there were some delegations waiting to see the Governor-General. The first of these was headed by Gama, our champion wrestler. Khawaja Nizamuddin talked to him for a bit and then moved on, leaving it to Mudie to sort out his problems. I was with Mudie.

Gama told him he could not make ends meet, leave alone attempting to keep himself in shape for any tournaments that might be arranged. In the princely State of Patiala, where he had been, he was given a handsome salary and all his nourishment was provided free of cost.

Mudie casually asked him how much it amounted to. Gama replied he did not know the cost but he was provided with the following items daily: six gallons of milk, an equal amount of purified butter, and a long catalogue of other such devastating items in equally devastating more...

An Indian was sitting with a Pakistani and a Malaysian in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled barrel of beer, when all of a sudden Saudi police entered and arrested them. They were initially sentenced to death but they contested this and were finally imprisoned for life.
But, as it was a national holiday, the Sheikh decided they should be released after receiving 20 lashes of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
So the Malaysian guy thought for a while and then said: "Please be tieing a pillow to my back."
This was done but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through.
The Pakistani guy, watching the scene, said: "Please fix two pillows on my back".
But even two pillows could only take 10 lashes before the whip went through again.
Before the Indian fellow could say more...

This married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with a Pakistani accent say, "You, foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop." So the married couple walked in. The Pakistani man said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you'd be interested in. They make you wild at sex like a great desert camel." Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man had claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was. The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?" The Pakistani man replied, "Just try them on." Well, the husband, after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes; something his wife hadn't seen in many years--- more...

Garbachan singh was travelling from calcutta to bombay by a plane, there were one american, one russian, one pakistani and some other passengers. Suddenly something went wrong pilot alarmed that plane lost it's control and some of the passengers have to jump out to rescue the rest of them. Firstly the american jumped out saying "jai america" again the condition didn't change then the russian jumped out from the plane saying "jai russia". But the condition still the same. The next is garbachen's turn he hesitated for a moment and pulled out the pakistani by saying "jai india".