Pakistani Jokes / Recent Jokes

Question: Why have all the dance academies in Pakistan been closed down?
Answer: Because from now on sarkar he sab ko nachaaege (the government will make everyone dance).

This married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with a Pakistani accent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come indo my humble shop."

So the married couple walked in. The Pakistani man said to them, "I have some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex like a great desert camel." Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was.

The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?" The Pakistani man replied, "Just try dem on, Saiheeb."

Well, the husband, after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes; something more...

General Musharaf, President of Pakistan was awoken at 4am by the
telephone.
"Jannab, its the Minister of Health here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Rawalpindi has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire Pakistani supply of condoms will be gone by the end of the week."
Musharaf: "What a disaster! The economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies- we'll be ruined!"
Minister: "We're going to have to ship some condoms in from abroad..."
Musharaf: "Afghanistan...?"
Minister: "No chance!! The tabloids will have a field day on this one!"
Musharaf: "What about India?"
Minister: "Maybe- but we don't want them to know that we are stuck. Call the Indian Prime Minister, Singh- tell him we need one million condoms; colored gold and green; ten inches long and eight inches thick! That more...

Lars SchumannA Pakistani tourist after a long walk in one of very fancy clean streets of Delhi found himself needing to urinate badly. After a long search he could not find any place to you-know, and eventually couldn't control himself and chose a silent corner of a clean street to release himself. As soon as he had just started you-know-what, a Delhi police official approached him, "Hey, What do you think you're doing here?" Pakistani tourist: "Sorry I have to Pee" Police: "No PP here okay? Follow me." The Police officer took him to a beautiful garden nearby with lots of grass, flowers and singing birds around. Police: "PP here..... and have a nice day". Pakistani tourist: "Oh Sir,. ...... that's very nice of you, is this Indian courtesy?" Police: "No....... this is The Pakistani Embassy!"

This married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with a Pakistani accent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come indo my humble shop." So the married couple walked in. The Pakistani man said to them, "I have some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex like a great desert camel." Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was. The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?" The Pakistani man replied, "Just try dem on, Saiheeb." Well, the husband, after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes; something his wife hadn't seen in many more...

A pakistani, a lady and a sardarji were travelling in a train one time. The train was going through a long tunnel and while in the dark suddenly there is a sound of a big kiss, which is followed by the sound of a slap.

When the train comes out of the tunnel, everyone sees that the pakistani guy's cheek is swollen red.

Now, the pakistani looks around confused and thinks,'that sardarji must have tried to kiss the lady and she slapped me instead of him.'

The lady wonders,' that pakistani guy must have been trying to kiss me and must have kissed the sardarji by mistake!'

And our dear old sardarji is thinks,' i hope we run into another tunnel so i can make another kissing sound and slap the damn pakistani!'

A gentleman travelled all the way from Islamabad to Karachi to have an aching tooth taken out. The Karachi dentist asked him,' Surely you have dentists in Islamabad? You did not have to come all this way to have your teeth attended to.'
'We have no choice. In Islamabad we are not allowed to open our mouths,' replied the man with the aching tooth.