Outrun Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He looks in his rear view mirror and notices a police car with its red lights. He thinks, "I can outrun this guy", so he floors it.
The cars are racing down the highway - 60, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour. Finally, as his speedometer passes 100, the guy realizes he can't outrun the cop so he gives up and pulls over to the curb. The police officer gets out of his cruiser and approaches the car.
He leans down and says "Listen mister, I've had a really lousy day, and I just want to go home. Give me a good excuse and I'll let you go."
The man thought for a moment and said, "Three weeks ago my wife ran off with a police officer. When I saw your cruiser in my rear view mirror I thought you were that officer and you were trying to give her back to me!"

Two biologists are in the field following the tracks of a radio-collared grizzly bear.

All of a sudden, the bear crashes out of the brush and heads right for them. They scramble up the nearest tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them.

The first biologist starts taking off his heavy leather hiking boots and pulls a pair of sleek running shoes from his back-pack.

The second biologist gives him a puzzled look and says, "What in the world are you doing?"

He replies, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we''ll jump down and make a run for it."

The second guy says, "Are you crazy? We both know you can''t outrun a full-grown grizzly bear."

The first guy says, "I don''t have to outrun the bear, I only have to outrun you!"

Two guys in a jungle, come around a corner and meet a lion head-on pawing the ground.
One guy ever so carefully reaches into his knapsack and slowly takes out a set of Nike running shoes, never once breaking eye contact with the lion.
2nd guy hisses: "What are you doing, you can't outrun the lion" 1st guy says: "No, but all I have to do is outrun you"!

Two guys in a jungle, come around a corner and meet a lion head-on pawing the ground.One guy ever so carefully reaches into his knapsack and slowly takes out a set of Nike running shoes, never once breaking eye contact with the lion.2nd guy hisses: "What are you doing, you can't outrun the lion" 1st guy says: "No, but all I have to do is outrun you"!