Orgasm Jokes / Recent Jokes
How long does it take for a woman to orgasm? Who cares?
Yet Another Bumper Sticker:
Men think they rule the world,
but can they fake orgasm?
Heard from a co-worker:
Do you know why women fake orgasm?
Because men fake foreplay.
My Christmas Wish
If I had 1 wish this Christmas, it would be for all the children of the
world to join together in peace and love and sing in harmony.
If I had 2 wishes this Christmas, it would be for
1. All the Children of the world to sing together
2. $1, 000, 000 tax free
If I had 3 wishes this Christmas
1. Kids singing together
2. $1, 000, 000 tax free per year for life
3. To have all encompassing power over the universe
If I had 4 wishes this Christmas
1. The crap about the kids
2. $1, 000, 000
3. All encompassing power
4. 1 extended orgasm to last 30 days, brought about by 2 super models
and, of course, my spouse
Let's face it, the logistics of getting all those kids together is impossible.
So, let's rearrange
1. All encompassing power
2. The orgasm
3. The money
OHHH!! I forgot to strike down my enemies. Okay, so we add that more...
It takes 116 muscles to climax, but only 17 to smile. Sex makes you alert and ready to face the world... it's an ideal substitute for a hot breakfast. The greater the orgasm, the deeper the sleep. Multiple orgasms (20 or more per hour) can induce a coma and near-fusion with the mattress. Eat and drink sensibly. The combination of alcohol and sex, especially after long abstinence, can cause spontaneous fizzle. Improved breath control increases oxygen supply throughout entire body, prevents asphyxiation during mighty kisses, trims and tones pelvis, promotes a stronger upper body enabling you to hold on tight and keep partner from damaging furniture during moments of ecstasy. Better coordination prevents confusion during intricate manipulations, permitting you to talk and perform at the same time. A single ejaculation, especially from a man, contains enough sperm cells to fertilize every woman in the United States Marine Corps. Oral sex is a great way to firm the lower face. After 16 more...
Q: Why do so many women fake orgasm?
A: Because so many men fake foreplay.
If Dear Abby Was A Man... Q: My fiance still has feelings for his old girlfriends. I'm afraid he will not be faithful. A: A man's capacity to love is boundless. It has been proven to increase with the number of sexual partners. Thus, by having a few other women, your partner is really increasing his love for you. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behavior. Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys. A: This is perfectly natural behaviour - and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. Far from being pleasurable, a night out with the boys is a stressful affair, and to get back to you is a relief for your partner. Just look back at how emotional and happy the man is when he returns to his stable home. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behaviour. Q: My more...