Cares Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Famous Last Words
    "We'll be safe here, trust me."
    "Who cares about the severe weather warning, those forecasters are always wrong anyway."
    "We're not as high up as it looks, here I'll show you."
    "Who cares about those heart condition warnings anyway, I wanna ride this thing!"
    "My friend did this a while ago. I don't know how it turned out, I haven't seen him since."
    "It's just a slight tingle."

    One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowingin despair, he has his first meeting with The Devil.
    The Devil: Why so sad?
    Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell.
    The Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here... Do you drink?
    Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
    The Devil: Well you're gonna love Mondays. On Mondays that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, brandy, rum, tequila, beer...we drink until we throw up and then we drink some more! It doesn't matter because you're already dead!
    Guy: That sounds great.
    The Devil: Do you smoke?
    Guy: Yes.
    The Devil: You're going to love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out! If you get cancer - who cares! You're already dead!
    Guy: Wow!
    The Devil: Do you gamble?.
    Guy: I do.
    The Devil: Wednesdays you can gamble all youwant...blackjack, roulette, poker, whatever... If you lose yourshirt...who cares!
    Guy: Amazing!
    The Devil: more...

    Q: Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?
    A: Who cares?

    If you drop a conductor and a watermelon off a tall building, which will hit the ground first?
    Who cares?

    Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
    Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
    Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
    Rottweiler: Make me.
    Lab: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?
    Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.
    Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
    Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
    Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
    Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.
    Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.......
    Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT more...

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