Oregon Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why did the Oregon State psychology major climb up the chain link fence? To see what was on the other side.

Howard dies and waits in line for judgment. He notices that some souls go right into heaven, while Satan throws others into a burning pit. But every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, the devil tosses him aside.

Curious, Howard asks Satan, "Excuse me, but why are you tossing them aside instead of flinging them into hell with the others?"

"They're from Oregon," Satan replies. "They're too wet to burn."

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there

If you've worn shorts, sandals and a parka at the same time

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number

If you measure distance in hours

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once

If you have switched from' heat' to' A/C' and back again in the same day

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave the doors unlocked, you probably live in Oregon...

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over 2 layers of clothes or under a raincoat

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction

If you feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash

If you know more than 10 ways to order coffee

If you know more people who own boats than air more...

Detroit, Oregon - A hunter thought he had found a severed human head in an abandoned mining shed and called the police. Deputy Larry Taylor realized it was just the head of a mannequin when he noticed a price sticker on the forehead.

Redondo Beach, California - After a short chase, officer Joseph Fonteno charged the driver of a white Mazda with DUI. The car had been driving down Pacific Coast Highway with the upper half of a traffic light pole laying across its hood. When Fonteno asked the drunk driver about the pole, he responded: "It came with the car when I bought it."

Australia - The Australian Police Journal reported that an elderly woman had already used about half of the powder in a custard packet when she discovered an object that appeared to be a large dead cockroach. However, when she brought it to the Health Department, food analysts determined it to be a dried-up human finger. The following investigation revealed that a factory worker had more...

Here's a wild story. An Elephant in Oregon had dental work done that required a chain saw, hand saws, and a drill that can punch through concrete. What's interesting is that the elephant goes to the same dentist as Hilary Swank.

Potential Viagra Slogans:

10.' Viagra, The quicker dicker upper'
9.' Viagra, One-a-day, like iron'
8.' Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight'
7.' Viagra, Home of the whopper'
6.' Viagra, It plumps when you take' em'
5.' Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman'
4.' Viagra, Tastes great, more filling'
3.' Viagra, Six inches long... and growing.'
2.' Viagra, We work harder, so you don't have to'
. ....and the number one slogan being considered by Viagra:
1.' This is your penis. This is your penis on Viagra. Any questions?'

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Q. What's the difference betwen an Irish and a Jewish husband?
A. The first buys Viagra; the second buys Pfizer.

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An Oregon resident made enough capital gain on his Pfizer stock to buy himself a new Mercedes Convertable. He then tried to honor the product which had more...

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.
Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather, roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axles, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
When God said, "Let there be light", more...