Obsessed Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    4 women enter an obsession class with their children to learn about and deal with their odsession.
    the consuleor says to the first mom:
    "your obsessed with money, you named your daughter penny."
    then the mom takes her kid and leaves
    the consuleor says to the second mom:
    "your obsessed with food you named your daughter candy."
    then the mom takes her kid and leaves
    the consuleor says to the third mom:
    " your obsessed with alcohol. you named your kid brandy"
    then the mom takes her kid and leaves.
    then the fourth mom whispers to her kid this is ridiculous, come on Dick were leaving.

    The other day some friends and I were discussing one of the few
    recurrent philosophical topics that come up in our conversations:
    society as a whole. It was taking its usual course; one of my friends
    insisted that society was going to hell, the other was somewhat
    neutral, and I thought that people were simply becoming more tolerant
    of differences.
    My first friend announced (again) that society was on a steady
    down-hill road. "Everyone today," she said, "is either messed up in
    the head, a druggie, or a nymphomaniac."
    My other friend laughed and nodded. Never having heard the word
    before, I puzzled over what' nymphomaniac' could mean.
    Trying not to sound stupid, I swallowed my pride and asked, "What's
    that?"
    "A girl who's obsessed with sex," explained my second friend.
    I paused for a moment, thinking. I then turned and asked them, "Then
    what is a guy obsessed with more...

    ADA: A Dumb Arrangement
    ADA: A Dumb Acronym
    ADA: A Dumb Annoyance
    BASIC: Boring And Shamelessly Idiotic Coders
    BASIC: Badly Assembled, Severely Illogical Code
    BASIC: Beginner's Algorithms for Seemingly Infinite Confusion
    C: Crud
    C: Confusing
    COBOL: Completly Outdated, Badly Overused Language
    COBOL: Completly Overused, Badly Outdated Language
    COBOL: Cowards Only Buy Outdated Languages
    COBOL: Cowards Only Build Outdated Languages
    COBOL: Crap Operated By Obsessed lunatics
    COBOL: Crap Often Bothers Our Lethargy
    COBOL: Crap Ostracized By Our Loathing
    COBOL: Compiles Only Because Of Luck
    COBOL: Cumbersome, Overdone, Badly Organized Language
    COBOL: Coded Only By Obsessed Lunatics
    FORTRAN: Files Only Run Through Right At Never-neverland
    LISP: Lots of Insanely Stupid Parentheses
    LISP: Lots of Irritating Superfluous Parentheses
    PASCAL: Programmers Against Structured Code And Language

    The other day some friends and I were discussing one of the few recurrent philosohical topics that come up in our conversations: society as a whole. It was taking its usual course; one of my friends insisted that society was going to hell, the other was somewhat neutral, and I thought that people were becoming more tolerating of differences.
    My first friend announced (again) that society was on a steady down-hill road. “Everyone today, ” she said, “Is messed up in the mind, a druggie, or a nymphomaniac. ”
    My other friend laughed and nodded. Never having heard the word before, I puzzled over what ‘nymphomaniac’ could mean.
    Trying not to sound stupid, I swallowed my pride and asked, “What’s that? ”
    “A girl who’s obsessed with sex, ” explained my second friend.
    I paused for a moment, thinking. “Then what, ” I asked, “Is a guy obsessed with sex? ”
    My first friend had an answer immediately, “Normal! ”

    ADA: A Dumb Arrangement
    ADA: A Dumb Acronym
    ADA: A Dumb Annoyance

    BASIC: Boring And Shamelessly Idiotic Coders
    BASIC: Badly Assembled, Severely Illogical Code
    BASIC: Beginner's Algorithms for Seemingly Infinite Confusion

    C: Crud
    C: Confusing

    COBOL: Completly Outdated, Badly Overused Language
    COBOL: Completly Overused, Badly Outdated Language
    COBOL: Cowards Only Buy Outdated Languages
    COBOL: Cowards Only Build Outdated Languages
    COBOL: Crap Operated By Obsessed lunatics
    COBOL: Crap Often Bothers Our Lethargy
    COBOL: Crap Ostracized By Our Loathing
    COBOL: Compiles Only Because Of Luck
    COBOL: Cumbersome, Overdone, Badly Organized Language
    COBOL: Coded Only By Obsessed Lunatics

    FORTRAN: Files Only Run Through Right At Never-neverland

    LISP: Lots of Insanely Stupid Parentheses
    LISP: Lots of Irritating Superfluous Parentheses

    PASCAL: Programmers Against more...

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