New York Jokes / Recent Jokes

Polar bears in the Pittsburgh zoo received a $14 million domain renovation featuring a plush waterfall and running stream. Park officials expect a spike in ticket sales as well as a visit from Al Sharpton asking what the black bears got.

There will only be 49 contestants in the Miss Black America pageant this year. No one wants to wear a banner reading "Idaho".

Went on a first date with a girl. It was going great. Had dinner, listened to some jazz. Walked around the Village [Greenwich Village, in NYC] a bit.
We came across one of those storefront psychic places. The ones with the word "Psychic" in neon lights. Very original ad campaign. My date wanted to try. I figured why not.

We went in, sat down, and "Zelda" or "Hazlette" or whatever her name is started to read my date's palm. "Oooh, you're going to have a long life... you will be very rich... and the man of your dreams is already in your life-and his name begins with the letter "D."
Now, I was pissed. My name is Ray with an "R." And the rest of the night my date kept wondering, out loud, who this "dream man" might be. "Maybe it's David from the gym, or Derek from next door. Maybe Daniel from the travel agency?"
I got so fed up I told her, "Maybe it's Dick-MINE."
Date was more...

On December 16th, former Washington D.C. mayor Marion Barry was stopped by Park Police and arrested for driving with a suspended license.
Police also charged Barry with wearing white after Labor Day.
Barry is considering suing the government saying he was humiliated and severely inconvenienced.


After a brief look at the kind of year Barry's had..

November 14, 2006: Barry Pleads Not Guilty To DUISeptember 11, 2006: Marion Barry Detained By PoliceAugust 7, 2006: Barry Facing More Legal WoesMay 12, 2006: Police: Former Mayor Fails Field Sobriety TestMarch 9, 2006: Marion Barry Sentenced On Tax ChargesFebruary 27, 2006: Barry Shows Off Gasifier MachineFebruary 8, 2006: Federal Judge Postpones Barry SentencingFebruary 7, 2006: Marion Barry Heads Back To CourtJanuary 11, 2006: Marion Barry Fails Drug TestPark Police said they would counter-sue saying it was really inconvenient to have to lock this knucklehead up every other month.

The department of health stated today that there will be major changes forthcoming involving New York City restaurants rat problem.

First order of business, rat now available on McDonalds dollar menu.