Neighbour Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    One person from Utter Pradesh (UP) was in Mysore for about four years and his wife in Jaunpur (UP).

    At the end of four years he distributed sweets to his colleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son.

    His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this happened when our friend was in Mysore and his wife in Jaunpur.

    He said it is common in UP that neighbours take care of the wife (good samaritans) when men are away.

    The colleagues asked, "What name will you give to the son?"

    To which he replied: "If it's the first neighbour who has taken care, then the name would be PAHLAJ.

    If it's the second neighbour, then the name would be DWIVEDI, if it is the third neighbour then it would be TRIVEDI, if it is the fourth neighbour then it would be CHATURVEDI and if it's the fifth neighbour PANDEY.

    After listening to this, questions followed and what if it is a mixture of more...

    A MAN was hauled up in court for beating his neighbour. The magistrate demanded:' Did you beat up your neighbour?'
    'Yes, Your Honour, he called me a Punjabi rascal.'
    'So what?'
    'Your Honour, if he had called you a Bengali or Madrasi rascal, or the type of rascal you really are, wouldn't you have beaten him up?'

    An old farmer is outside for a walk around his land when he sees a sign on his neighbour's lawn;' Horse for Sale'. Curious, he decides to have a look-see. As he approaches his neighbour's stable, he sees his old Italian friend brushing down a fine-looking stallion.

    'Hello friend, I saw your sign out there and came over to see your horse for sale.' Now, the Italian farmer speaks very poor English, but manages to answer well enough.' Yep, yep, disa is da horse for-a sale.'

    'This horse here?' quizzes the old farmer,' Why he's a fine horse! Why-ever would you sell him?'

    'Well,' sighs the Italian farmer,' He no looka so good anymore.'

    The old farmer, convinced that his neighbour has lost his mind, makes the sale and leads the horse across his field over to the stable. As he taps the horse gently on the back to coax him into the stable, he watches as the horse misses the door completely and smacks head first into the wall.' That ol' more...

    Little Nancy was in the backyard filling in a hole when her neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the girl was up to he asks, "What are you up to there Nancy?"
    "My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
    The neighbour was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
    Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because he's inside your f****g cat!"

    A woman gets out of the shower, and the doorbell goes, her husband yells to her to get the door, so she hurrys down the stairs with just a towel on.
    When the women opens the door to find her next door neighbour dave at the door, hes shocked to see her in just a towel and says "if you drop your towel i will give you five hundred pounds" the woman is confused but evenutally says yes and she drops her towel and he gives her the money.
    She closes the door and runs up to her husband to tell him, he asks "who was that" she replies " dave from next door" the husband then says " good, did he give you that five hundred pounds, that he owed me"

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