Ned Jokes

Ned: What does your Dad sell? Ed: Salt. Ned: Well, my dad is a salt seller, too. Ed: Shake.

Ned: Boy! Was I ever in hot water last night! Ed: You were? What did you do? Ned: I took a bath!

Ned: Boy! Was I ever in hot water last night!

Ed: You were? What did you do?

Ned: I took a bath!

A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers. "Hi, is Boris home?" asked Ned. "No, he went to the store." replied the wife.
"Well, you mind if I wait?" asked Ned. "No, come in." responded the wife.
They sit down and the friend says, "You know Sue, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one." Sue thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table.
They sit there a while longer and Ned says, "They are so beautiful. I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together." Sue thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Ned a nice long look. Ned thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can't more...

Ned: What does your Dad sell?
Ed: Salt.
Ned: Well, my dad is a salt seller, too.
Ed: Shake.