Hot Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot
    Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons

    Good girls wax their floors
    Bad girls wax their bikini line

    Good girls blush during sex scenes in movies
    Bad girls know they could do it better

    Good girls wear white cotton panties
    Bad girls don't wear any

    Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls
    Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls

    Good girls pack their toothbrush
    Bad girls pack their diaphragms

    Good girls own only one credit card and rarely use it
    Bad girls own only one bra and rarely use it

    Good girls wear high heels to work
    Bad girls wear high heels to bed

    Good girls think the office is the wrong place to have a romance
    Bad girls think no place is the wrong place

    Good girls prefer the missionary position
    Bad girls do too, but only for more...

    A guy sits down in a Cafe' and asks for the hot chile.
    The waitress says, "The guy next to you got the last bowl."
    He looks over and sees that the guy's finished his meal, but the chili bowl is still full.
    He says, "Are you going to eat that?"
    The other guy says, "No. Help yourself."
    He takes it and starts to eat it. When he gets about half way down, his fork hits something. He looks down sees a dead mouse in it, and he pukes! the chili back into the bowl.
    The other guy says, "That's about as far as I got, too."

    Two muslim sisters, Meenah and Neenah, have just arrived in the USA. On arrival they spot a hot dog vendor. Meenah says to Neenah, “Look, people in this country eat dogs. ”
    “Odd! ” says Neenah, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do. ”
    Nodding, they walk towards the hot dog vendor.
    “Two dogs, please, ” says Neenah.
    The vendor wraps two hot dogs and hands them over the counter. Excited, the sisters hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their ‘dogs’.
    Meenah is the first to open hers. She stares at it for a moment and begins to blush with joy. Then she leans over to Neenah and whispers cautiously, “What part did you get? ”

    A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He
    reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon
    further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
    The man below says: "Yes you're in a hot air balloon, hovering
    30 feet above this field."
    "You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
    "I am." replies the man. "How did you know."
    "Well," says the balloonist, "Everything you have told me is
    technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."
    The man below says, "You must work in business."
    "I do," replies the balloonist, "But how did you know?"
    "Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are, or where
    you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in
    the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."

    What do you call an attractive but contemptible man?

    A hot turd.

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