Music Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: Why does a viola burn longer than a violin?
A: It is usually still in the case.
Jerry is hired to play his trumpet on the score of a movie, and he's excited. He's especially thrilled because he gets to play two long solos.
After the sessions, which go great, Jerry can't wait to see the finished product. He asks the producer where and when he can catch the film. A little embarrassed, the producer explains that the music is for a porno flick that will be out in a month, and he tells Jerry where he can go to see it.
A month later, Jerry, with his collar up and wearing glasses, goes to the theater where the picture is playing. He walks in and sits way in the back, next to an elderly couple who also seem to be disguised and hiding.
The movie starts, and it's the filthiest, most perverse porno flick ever... group sex, S&M, everything... and then, halfway through, a dog gets in on the action. Before anyone can blink an eye, the dog has had sex with all the women in every orifice, and most of the men.
Embarrassed, Jerry turns to the old couple and more...
What's the range of a tuba? Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!
How many tuba players does it take to change a light bulb? Three! One to hold the bulb and two to drink' till the room spins.
Why are orchestra intermissions limited to 20 minutes? So you don't have to retrain the drummers.
Q: What's the definition of a minor second?
A: Two lead guitarists playing in unison.