Mummy Jokes / Recent Jokes

A small boy walks into his mothers room and catches her topless."Mummy, mummy, what are these?" he says, pointing to her breasts."Well, son," she says, "these are balloons, and when you die, they inflate and float you up to heaven."Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes offquite satisfied.Two days later while his mother is making tea, he rushes intothe kitchen."Mummy, mummy, Aunt Mary is dying!"What do you mean? says his mother.Well she's in the garden shed, lying on the floor. Both herballoons are out, Dad's blowing them up, and she keeps yelling"God, I'm coming! I'm coming!!!"

Mummy Monster: What are you doing with that saw and wheres your little brother? Young Monster: Hee, hee! Hes my half-brother now!

Day1: A blonde comes home from school and says to her mum,"We learned how to count up to 5 today mummy. I got up to 10. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?" Mum replies: "yes dear"Day 2:"We learned how to do the alphabet today mummy. The others only got up to E and I got up to S. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?" Mum replies: "yes dear"Day 3:"We learned about breasts today mummy. All the other girls are flat chested and I'm a 36DD. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?" Mum replies: "No dear, it's because your 25.

one day a mother and her daughter were walking through a park when they came across a man and a woman having sex. the little girl asked her mother " mummy what are they doing?" her mother thought for a minute " um... they are making cakes." so with that they left.
the next day the mother and the daughter went to the zoo. there was two monkies having sex yet again the little girl asked"mummy what are they doing" again thinking a minute " umm... they are making cakes." so they left.
the next day the little girl went to see her mum. " mummy you and daddy were making cakes last night." shocked the mother said " umm... yes how did you know?" the little girl replied
" because i licked the icing of the sofa!"

Q: Why did the Mummy go to the bathroom? A: To wrap itself in toilet paper!

A young boy named Daniel had a bad dream in the middle of the night, so he ran into his Mum and Dads room.
He asks, "Can i get in please Mummy?"
His Dad, However, replies and says "Of course. Just dont look under the covers."
Daniel was curious and looked under the covers. He asks, "Daddy, what is that Mummy has?"
His Daddy says "Thats Mummy

little boy: mummy is god a girl or a boy? mummy: why god is both girl and boy little boy: mummy is god black or white? mummy: why god is both black and white little boy: mummy is god gay or strait? mummy: why god is both gay and strait little boy: mummy is god Michael Jackson?