Mummy Jokes / Recent Jokes
A more realistic view of what happened to the porridge!
It's a sunny morning in the Big Forest, and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table.
He looks into his small bowl. It is empty!
"Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks.
Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty!
"Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars.
Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells:
"For Pete's sake, how many times do we have to go through this?
It was Mummy Bear who got up first.
It was Mummy Bear who woke up everybody else in the house.
It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away.
It was Mummy Bear who went out into the cold early morning air to fetch the more...
Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its willy points to it and says, "Mummy, what is that long thing?"His mother replies, "That son, is the elephant's trunk." "No, at the other end." "That son is the tail." "No, mummy, the thing under the elephant." A short embarrassed silenced after which she replies, "Thats nothing."The mother goes to buy some ice-cream and the boy, not being satisfied with her answer asks his father the same question. "Daddy, what is that long thing?""That's the trunk, son" replies the father. "No at the other end." "Oh, that is the tail." "No, no daddy, the thing below," asks the son in desperation. "That is the elephants penis. Why do you ask son?" "Well mummy said it was nothing," more...
There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.
The little girl says' 'Mummy what are they doing?''
The mother hesitates then quickly replies' 'Ummm they are making cakes''.
The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, making cakes.
The next day the girl says to her mother' 'Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night.''
Shocked, the Mother says' 'how do you know?''
The little girl replies,' 'I licked the icing off the sofa.''
One day a young girl accidentally walks in to the bathroom whilst her mother is taking a shower. Shocked she looks down at her mothers lower regions and asks "Mummy whats that???". Her mother blushingly replies "Ohh thats my little hedgehog" and then tells the girl to leave room. About 2 weeks later the young girl is visiting her grandmother, when she accidentaly walks in to the bathroom whilst she's taking a bath. Shocked she points to her grandmother lower regions and says "Grandma whats that?", to which her grandmother replied "Ohh that's my little hedgehog". At this point the girl ran out of the bathroom screaming and ran toward her mother, shouting and crying "Mummy, Mummy Grandma's hedgehog is dead". "Why??" asks her mother, "Because all its guts are hanging out replied the girl"
Of all tales of the supernatural, this one is perhaps the best documented, the most disturbing and
the most difficult to explain. The Princess of Amen-Ra lived some 1, 500 years before Christ. When she
died, she was laid in an ornate wooden coffin and buried deep in a vault at Luxor, on the banks of
the Nile.
In the late 1890's, 4 rich young Englishmen visiting the excavations at Luxor were invited to buy and
exquisitely fashioned mummy case containing the remains of Princess Amen-Ra. They drew lots.
The man who paid several thousand pounds had the coffin taken to his hotel. A few hours later, he was
seen walking out towards the desert. He never returned.
The next day, one of the remaining 3 men was shot by an Egyptian servant accidentally. His arm was so
severely wounded it had to be amputated.
The 3rd man in the foursome found on his return home that the bank holding his entire savings had
failed. The 4th guy suffered a severe more...
A Family, a boy and his parents went to a nude beach while they were on holiday.
The little boy was building sandcastles when he noticed some women had bigger boobs than his mum. Confused he went to his mum, "
Mummy mummy, why do some women have bigger boobs than you?"
His mum laughed and replied "
Honey, the bigger boobs they have, the dumber they are"
Please with the answer the little boy carried on building sandcastles, when he noticed some men had bigger willy's than his dad. Confused he went to his dad, "
Daddy, daddy, why do some men have bigger willys than you?"
His dad laughed and replied "
Son, the bigger the willy, the dumber the guy"
Later the boy said to his mum "
Mummy, Daddy was talking to the DUMBEST girl on the beach, and the more he spoke the dumber he got"
2 Sardarjis Looking At Egyptian Mummy.
Sar 1: Look So Many Bandages, Pakka Lorry Accident Case.
Sar 2: Aaho, Lorry Number Is Also Written... Bc 1760!!!....