Mum Jokes / Recent Jokes

Day1: A blonde comes home from school and says to her mum,"We learned how to count up to 5 today mummy. I got up to 10. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?" Mum replies: "yes dear" Day 2: "We learned how to do the alphabet today mummy. The others only got up to E and I got up to S. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?" Mum replies: "yes dear" Day 3: "We learned about breasts today mummy. All the other girls are flat chested and I'm a 36DD. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?" Mum replies: "No dear, it's because your 25.

Helen: Mum, do you know what Im going to give you for your birthday? Mum: No, dear, what? Helen: A nice teapot. Mum: But Ive got a nice teapot. Helen: No you havent. Ive just dropped it.

' William,' shouted his mum.' There were two pieces of cake in the pantry last night and now there's only one. How do you explain that? '
' It was dark in the pantry, mum,' explained William,' and I didn't see the other piece!'

Thanks to' Carol' for this large collection of Yo-Mama Jokes... Enjoy!!

Your momma is so fat when she sits in the bathtub the toilet water raises.
Yo mama so stud she thought a quarterback was a refund.
Your mum's like a bowling ball. Why? You finger her, chuck her down an alley and she comes back for more.
Your mum's so ugly, she has to do trick or treat over the phone.
Your mum's so fat, she wears a vcr as a pager.
Your mum's so ugly, your dad takes her to work with him so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
Your mum's so fat, she fills the bath and then puts the water in.
Your mum's like a DIY shop, 1p a screw.
Your mum's so fat, when she went to the beach, she was the only one who got a tan.
Your mum's so ugly, she turned medusa to stone.
Your mum's so stupid, she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses.
Your mum's so old, I told her to act her age and she died.
Your mum's like more...

Mum: How can you practice your trumpet and listen to the radio at the same time? Son: Easy. I have two ears!

Mum: From now on your going to have free school dinners. Son: But, Mum, I dont want three school dinners, one is more than enough!

-joke 1-
Little Arbert- Mum, I am glad you called me Albert.
Mum- Why?
Little Albert-Because that is the way my friends at school
call me.
-joke 2-

Little Arbert- Mum, I have learned to write.
Mum-And what did you learn?
Little Arbert-I don`t know. I haven`t learned to read yet