Mud Jokes / Recent Jokes
A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him.
The farmer stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. The husband accepted and minutes later the car was free. The farmer turned to the husband and said, “You know, you’re the tenth car I’ve helped out of the mud today. ”
The husband looks around at the fields incredulously and asks the farmer, “When do you have time to plough your land? At night? ”
“No, ” the young farmer replied seriously, “Night is when I put the water in the hole. ”
Once upon a time, there was a little old man that really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged 6 miles everyday. One morning he looked in the mirror and was more...
A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him. The farmer stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. The husband accepted and minutes later the car was free. The farmer turned to the husband and said, "You know, you're the tenth car I've helped out of the mud today." The husband looks around at the fields incredulously and asks the farmer, "When do you have time to plough your land? At night?" "No," the young farmer replied seriously, "Night is when I put the water in the hole."
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Friday’s. 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in N. Y. 3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. 4. I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary? ” “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time! ” So I suggested, “How about the kitchen? ” 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. 6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said “There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down! ” So I bought her an electric chair. 7. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. and in case you forget… Marriage is like a violin. After all the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached.
"I hear you lost your court case. Did your lawyer give you bad advice?"
"No. He charged me for it."
There are two kinds of lawyers -- those who know the law and those who know the judge.
Arguing with a lawyer is like mud wrestling with a pig: after a while you realize that the pig is at home in the mud.
Lawyers and computers have both been proliferating since 1970.
Unfortunately, lawyers, unlike computers, have not gotten twice as efficient and half as expensive every 18 months.