Mourner Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man is walking along when he sees a funeral procession going by. It is the longest funeral procession he has ever seen, with a long line of men walking behind the hearse. He notices that the first man in line has a Doberman Pinscher on a leash. After watching the long line of men for a few minutes, the man's curiousity gets the better of him, so he goes up to the first man in the procession.
"Excuse me, sir," he says to the mourner with the dog, "I'm very sorry to bother you in your time of grief, but never in my life have I seen such a large funeral procession. Could you please tell me who this funeral is for?"
"Yes, says the man, tightening the leash on his dog, "the funeral is for my mother-in-law. You see," he says, hanging his head, "my Doberman, here, attacked and killed her."
"Gee, I'm really sorry to hear that," says the other man. "But...um...tell me, do you think maybe I could borrow this more...

A young woman married and had 13 children. Her husband died.
She soon married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died.
But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children.
Alas, she finally passed on at the age of 95. The funeral was predictably attended by hundreds.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed to the Lord above, thanking him for this loving woman who fulfilled his commandment to "Go forth and multiply." In the final remarks of his eulogy, he noted, "Thank you Lord, they're finally together."
Leaning over to his neighbor, one mourner asked... "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?"
The other mourner then replied..."I think he means her legs."