Monica Jokes / Recent Jokes

After the holidays are over, Monica Lewinski decides to go to the doctor to have her love handles removed.
When she comes out, her ears are missing!

Willie the Whale and his whale girlfriend, Monica, are swimming happily through the ocean when they come upon a boat. On seeing the boat, Willie says, "Hey, I've got a great idea! Let's swim up under that boat and blow out really hard through our blowholes!"
Monica says, "Oh, I don't know..."
"Come on, it'll be fun, come on, just this once!", says Willie.
Monica agrees and they swim up under the boat and blow out, capsizing the boat and sending hapless sailors into the briny blue.
As they are swimming away, Willie says, "Wow, that was fun, wasn't it? Hey! I've got another idea! Let's swim back there and eat all the sailors!"
To which Monica, exasperated, replies, "Look, I agreed to the blow job, but I'm not swallowing any seamen."

Why are Monica Lewinsky and a change machine alike? They both say..."insert Bill here!"

Monica needed to get one of her dresses cleaned so she takes it to thedry cleaners. The man working there was an elderly man and was hard ofhearing. Monica said,"I need this dress cleaned." The man said, "Come again?" Monica replied, "No, it's just mustard."

Monica has been receiving a lot of kidding about her weight. She
considered to have her love handles removed, but decided against it as she
might lose her hearing if they cut off her ears.

Monica Lewinski goes into her cleaners with a dress to be cleaned. As she enters, she sees that Mr. Lee, (the owner of the cleaners and whom is hard of hearing), is in the back.
She yells, " Mr. Lee, Mr. Lee, It's Monica. I have a dress to be cleaned."
Mr. Lee yells, "Come again"
Monica says, "No, it is gravy this time."

Monica Lewinski walks into a cleaners carrying her blue dress. After she
dropped it off for it to be cleaned and was about to walk out the door,
the little chinese man behind the counter said, "Come again!"
"No" Monica says, "This time it's mayonaise!"