Mistakes Jokes / Recent Jokes
On his way out of church after mass, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. “Would it be right, ” he asked, “for a person to profit from the mistakes of another? ”
“Absolutely not! ” replied the pastor, disappointed that Frank would even ask such a question.
“In that case, ” said the young man, “I wonder if you’d consider returning the hundred dollars I paid you to marry my wife and me last July. ”
Learn from your parents' mistakes: use birth control.
Johnny's English teacher was a perfectionist and demanded the very best of his pupils. So it was to be expected that he would get furious when Little Johnny handed in a poor paper.
"This is the worst essay it has ever been my misfortune to read," ranted the teacher. "It has too many mistakes. I can't understand how one person would have made all these mistakes."
"One person didn't," replied Little Johnny defensively. "My father helped me."
“Is it proper for a man to profit from the mistakes of another? ” a parishioner asked his minister.
“Definitely not, ” was the preacher’s answer.
“Are you absolutely certain? ”
“Yes, my son, absolutely. ”
“Okay. In that case, I wonder if you’d mind returning that $25 I gave you after my wedding last year? ”
All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
-- Vice President Al Gore, 9/22/97
"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
-- Vice President Al Gore, 9/5/93
"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
-- Vice President Al Gore
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation`s history. I mean in this century`s history. But we all lived in this century. I didn`t live in this century."
-- Vice President Al Gore, 9/15/95
"It isn`t pollution that`s harming the environment. It`s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
-- Vice President Al Gore
"[It`s] time for the human race to enter the solar system."
-- Vice President Al Gore
"We`re all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may more...