Miss Jokes / Recent Jokes
If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two on you.
If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.
How Can I Miss You If you Won't Go Away?
I Liked You Better Before I Knew you So Well.
I Still Miss you, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better.
I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid she'd win.
I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight.
I'm So Miserable Without You; It's Like Having You here.
If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now.
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss him.
She Got The Ring, And I Got The Finger.
You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly.
Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure.
She's Looking Better After Every Beer.
And the No. 1 favorite country song is:
I Haven't Gone To Bed With Any Ugly Women, But I've sure woke up with a few.
my friend who when we were in year 5 he was the idiotic guy in the whole class and the most intelligent
so one day our english miss told "the boys who talk in sinhala should go to the madam". Then She explained in sinhala. like this "SInhalen katha karana lami madam langata yanna one" SO then my friend stood up and told the teacher "miss, you also talked in Sinhala so you should go to the MADAM"!!!!
A traveling salesman visits a small town in the Midwest and sees a circus banner reading, "Don't Miss the Amazing Goldstein!"
Curious, he buys a ticket and sits through the usual circus acts: animals, clowns, contortionists, etc. Suddenly, trumpets blare and all eyes turn to the center ring. There in the middle of the ring is a table with three walnuts on it. In comes a little old Jewish man, five feet tall and barely able to walk to the table. He unzips his pants, whips out his long shlong, and proceeds to smash all three walnuts with three mighty swings! The crowd erupts in thunderous applause as the elderly Goldstein is carried off on the shoulders of the clowns.
Twenty years later the salesman visits the same little town and he sees a faded sign for the same circus and the same "Don't Miss the Amazing Goldstein."
He can't believe the old guy is still alive much less still doing his act! So he buys a ticket and sits through various acts. Finally, the more...
Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills...making the last car payment.
The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books.
Willie came up to the teacher's desk and said, "Miss Francis, I ain't got no crayons."
"Willie," Miss Francis said, "you mean, "I don't have any crayons.' You don't have any crayons. We don't have any crayons. They don't have any crayons. Do you see what I'm getting at?"
"Not really," Willie said, "What happened to all them crayons?"
A seven year-old turns up in his classroom one morning to be confronted by his teacher:
Teacher: "Morning Tommy, and why weren't you at school yesterday?"
Tommy: "Well Miss, my Granddad got burnt."
Teacher:"Oh Dear, he wasn't too badly hurt I hope?"
Tommy: "Oh yes, Miss. They don't mess around at those crematoriums."