Millionaire Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman proudly told her friend, "I'm responsible for making my husband a millionaire."
"Well what was he before he married you?" the friend asked.
"A billionaire."

One Night After Watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire...
A man and his wife went to bed and the man was getting very frisky. He asked his wife if she was in the mood.
His wife answered, "Not tonight dear, I have a headache."
The man replied, "Is that your final answer?"
She said "Yes."
"OK, then I'd like to phone a friend." he replied.

There was a millionaire who collected live alligators and kept them in the pool at his mansion. He also had a very beautiful daughter who was single.
One day he decided to throw a huge party and during the party, he announced, "My dear guests, I have a proposition for every man here. I will give one million dollars, or my daughter, to the man who can swim across this pool of alligators and emerge unharmed."
The words were barely out of his mouth when there was the sound of a loud SPLASH. One man was in the pool swimming with all his might... the crowd cheering him on as he kept stroking. Finally, he made it to the other side unharmed and the millionaire was extremely impressed.
"That was absolutely incredible! Fantastic!" exclaimed the millionaire. "I never thought it could be done. Since I am a man of my word, I must keep my end of the bargain. Which do you want, the million dollars or my daughter?"
"Listen, I don't want your money more...

Once there was a millionaire who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter that was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party, during the party he announces: "My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give 1 million dollars or my daughter to the man that can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!"As soon as he finished his last word there was the sound of a large splash! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all his might, the crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking. Finally, he made it to the other side unharmed. The millionaire was impressed, he said, "My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well, I must keep my end of the bargain, which do you want my daughter or the 1 million dollars?" The guy says, "Listen, I don't want your money! And I don't want your daughter! I want the person who more...

Millionaire: What's your name, driver?

Driver: Alfred, sir.

Millionaire: I always call my drivers by their last names.

Driver: It's Sweetheart, sir.

Millionaire: Drive on, Alfred.

Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests. . . I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge alive!" As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large splash!! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all he could and screaming out of fear. The crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking as though he was running for his life. Finally, he made it to the other side with only a torn shirt and some minor injuries. The millionaire was impressed. He said, "My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the bargain. Do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?" The more...

Slumdog Millionaire won the Golden Globe for Best Drama Picture Sunday night. Slumdog Millionaire should not be confused with Slimeball Millionaire--a movie about Bernard Madoff.