Middle Ages Jokes / Recent Jokes

An agitated patient was stomping around the psychiatrist's office, running his hands through his hair, almost in tears.

"Doctor, my memory's gone. Gone! I can't remember my wife's name. Can't remember my children's names. Can't remember what kind of car I drive. Can't remember where I work. It was all I could do to find my way here."

"Calm down. How long have you been like this?"

"Like what?"

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

Q: Did you here the story of the two bald-headed men?

A: They put their heads together and made an ass of themselves.

Q: How do you get three little old ladies to use the "F" word?

A: Get a fourth little old lady to yell "Bingo."

One day, two old men from a retirement home were sitting on the front porch retirement home. One man says to the other, "Ya know, Bill, if you think about it, we are not that old. I mean, my memory is still very good." As the man said this, he knocked on the wood chair beside him."Actually, sharp as ever."

After a couple minutes of silence, the first man started to talk again, "So, is anyone going to get the door or do I have to do it?"

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,' Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!'

'I know,' said Herman,' But, It's not just one car, it's hundreds of them.

A woman was cutting her husband's thinning hair, when their teenage son arrived home looking for a snack. She ofered a kiwifruit and tried to tempt him with its nutritious qualities. "It has more vitamin C than an orange," she remarked.

"And more hair than Dad," added their son.