Maths Jokes / Recent Jokes

An Irishman applied for a job on a construction site, but the foreman wouldn't hire him until he passed a simple maths test.
Here is your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" The Irishman says, "Dat is easy," and proceeded to draw three trees.

"What's this?" the boss asked.

"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," said the Irishman.
"Fair enough," said the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The Irishman stared into space for a while, then picked up the picture that he has just drawn and made a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go."

The boss scratched his head and said, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat more...

Once There Were Three Teacher's. They Went For A Boat Ride. There Was A Maths Teacher, A Science Teacher And A Phisics Teacher.

The Maths Teacher Said I Will Measure The River's Width And The Legnth And Jump Into It.

The Science Teacher Said I Will Measure The River's Speed And Jump Into It.

After A While The Physics Teacher Said That They Both Dissolved In The River

teacher:how is the maths exam paper that you have written yesterday?
student:mam....its full of numbers and symbols

Little Johnny was busy doing his homework. As his mother approached she heard:
"One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two."
"Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four."
"Three and three... "
His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing maths. Little Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Margo taught him.
His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework. The next day she stormed into Little Johnny's classroom and confronted Ms. Margo. Little Johnny's mother told Ms. Margo about Little Johnny's different way of doing maths, and Little Johnny claims that Ms. Margo taught it that way to the class.
The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn't understand why Little Johnny had said what he did. Then suddenly, Ms Margo exclaimed, "Oh, I know, here in school we say, one and one, the sum-of-which is two."

What kind of food do maths teachers eat? Square meals!

Santa singh was failing in his maths exam for the past 5 years and the teachers there wanted to get him passed some how. So they decided that in the next exam they will ask him a very easy question.
On the day of the exam which was held in a huge auditorium where there were many of his sardar friends he was called on the stage and asked. "What is 2+2? "
Santa Singh thougth for a long time and finally said 4.
On his answer all his sardar friends stood up and shouted "PLEASE GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE".

School test
During a maths lesson at school, the teacher points to little Benny and asks, "Benny, what’s 3 percent?"
Benny sits for a while shaking his head and then replies, "You’re right Miss, what’s 3 percent?"