Marshall Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Why did Marshall Applewhite insist that his follwers be castrated? A: He heard that to be really successful on the Internet you have to workwith UNIX.

General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKensie asks: "So how are your men?"
"Very well trained, Gral. McKenzie."
"I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." "Well, my men are very brave, too."
"I'd like to see that."
So Marshall calls private Cooper and says: "Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!"
"Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered McKenzie and said:
"You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."

General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKensie asks: "So how are your men?"

"Very well trained, Gral. McKenzie."

"I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they`re the bravest men all over the country." "Well, my men are very brave, too."

"I`d like to see that."

So Marshall calls private Cooper and says: "Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!"

"Are you crazy? It`d kill me, you idiot! I`m out of here!" As private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered McKenzie and said:

"You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."

General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKenzie asks:

"So how are your men?"

"Very well trained, General. McKenzie."

"I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country."

"Well, my men are very brave, too."

"I'd like to see that."

So Marshall calls private Cooper and says:

"Private Cooper! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!"

"Are you fucking crazy? It'd kill me, you asshole! I'm out of here!"

As private Cooper ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered McKenzie and said: "You see? You have to be pretty damn brave to talk like that to more...

Don and Marshall were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest, picking two of the best patients and giving them two questions. If they got them correct, they're deemed cured and free to go.

Don was called into the doctor's office first and asked if he understood that he'd be free if he answered the questions correctly. The doctor said, "Don, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?"

Don said, "I'd be half blind."

"That's correct. What if I poked out both of your eyes?"

"I'd be completely blind." The doctor got up, shook his hand and told him he was free.

On Don's way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Don mentioned the exam to Marshall. He told him what questions were going to be asked, and told him the answers. Marshall was called in. The doctor went through the formalities and asked, "What would happen if I cut off one of your more...

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer are waiting one morning behind a particularly slow group of golfers. They see the course marshall and ask why he isn't doing something to expedite play.
"They're blind firefighters," says the marshall, "They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we let them have free access to the course anytime they want."
After a moment's reflection, the group responds:
Pastor: "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
Doctor: "I'm going to contact an ophthalmologist friend, and see if there's anything he can do for them."
Engineer: "Why can't these guys play at night?"