Macintosh Jokes

Humorous Computer-Related Acronyms

IBM

I Blame Microsoft

Idiots Buy Me

Idiots Building Machines

I'll Buy Macintoshes

It Bit Me

It Built Microsoft

It's Better Manually

I've Been Mislead

I've Been Mugged

WINDOWS

Well, It Never Does Operate With Speed

When I Need Data Output Without Speed

While Idle, Needs DX or WorkStation

Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

WIN

Whoppingly Immense NOP

Worm Infestation Netware

MS-WINDOWS NT / WINDOWS NT

My Solitaire With Its New De-accelerator, Only With Some Network Technology

Well Intended, Netword De-accelerator, Only Works Sometimes, Never Totally

WINDOWS (as a) Network Trojan

Different Operating Systems Expectations

Macintosh: What You See Is What You Get

MS-DOS: You Asked more...

WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System GIRO - Garbage In Rubbish Out. MIPS - Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed. BASIC - Bill`s Attempt to Seize Industry Control. DEC - Do Expect Cuts. CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months. OS/2 - Obsolete Soon, Too. AMIGA - A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction. WWW - World Wide Wait. IBM = Imbecile Behind Macintosh. MACINTOSH - Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs.

Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None - there's no documentation available, so you have to wait until a third-party supplier comes out with a solution.

Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but it costs $4000 and you have to replace the motherboard.

GeekonicsBy John WoestendiekPhiladelphia InquirerWed., January 8, 1997NEWS BULLETIN: Saying it will improve the education of children who have grown up immersed in computer lingo, the school board in San Jose, Calif., has officially designated computer English, or "Geekonics", as a second language.The historic vote on Geekonics - a combination of the word "geek" and the word "phonics" - came just weeks after the Oakland school board recognized black English, or Ebonics, as a distinct language."This entirely reconfigures our parameters," Milton "Floppy" Macintosh, chairman of Geekonics Unlimited, said after the school board became the first in the nation to recognize Geekonics."No longer are we preformatted for failure," Macintosh said during a celebration that saw many Geekonics backers come dangerously close to smiling. "Today, we are rebooting, implementing a program to process the data we need to interface with all more...