Macho Jokes / Recent Jokes

Typical "macho man" marries a typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, lays down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you!
I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozin, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it! Those are my rules...any comments?"
His new bride matter of factly says, "No, that's fine with me.
Just understand one thing... there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night - whether you're HOME or not!"

Typical "macho man" marries a typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, lays down the following rules:"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you! I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozin, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it! Those are my rules...any comments?"His new bride matter of factly says, "No, that's fine with me.Just understand one thing... there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night - whether you're HOME or not!"

A typical macho man married typical good-looking woman and, after the wedding, laid down the following rules: ”I’ll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want - and I don’t expect any hassle from you. I expect dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don’t you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments? ”
His new bride said, ”No, that’s fine with me. Just understand that there’ll be sex here at 7 o’clock every night - whether you’re here or not. ”

Those who have been driving for many years are familiar with macho driving techniques. Newer drivers however, are probably curious as to what these people are up to. Here's some tips for macho driving:
Drive a pickup truck whether you need one or not. It must be very large with lots of blinding yellow fog lights. If it doesn't have them already, purchase used tires from MX missile transport trucks (roughly 6' in diameter); raise the suspension to allow clearance over the whimps that drive cars.
Practice your best scowl. Remember, that this is the only expression you are permitted to show once you're behind the wheel.
Do not be intimidated by the weather. It should never affect your driving style. Under no circumstances should you use windshield wipers. They're for appearance only. If snow blankets your vehicle, clear a peep-hole just large enough to see what's in front of you. You are not permitted to leave your vehicle to do this however! If you can't reach around to the more...

What is a macho man? After getting a blow job, he asks the woman,'Was it as good for you, as it was for me?'