Lumber Jokes / Recent Jokes

A lumber yard advertised a job opening and the only applicant was a blind man. The yard foreman interviewed the blind man and informed him that the ability to see was critical to the position because the employee would have to find lumber, measure it and cut it for the customers. The blind man said, "I have an extremely keen sense of smell so I can find the needed lumber, and I have a special braille measuring device to measure the wood, and I have a special saw to cut the wood. I can do anything a person with 20:20 vision can do."
To test this, the foreman brought in 10 pieces of lumber, all different types, depths, widths and lengths. He told the blind man to identify each piece of lumber. The blind man held the first piece of lumber to his nose and said, "This is white pine." He then measured it and said, "It's a two by four, 6 feet long." He was absolutely right. He then went on to accurately identify and measure every piece of wood - fir, more...

Jon starts working in a lumber camp. The boss says, "We work twelve hours a day, we eat two meals a day, lights out at ten-thirty, and you can put your dick in the barrel over there for a blow job any day but Thursday."Jon says, "Why not Thursday?"The boss says, "Because Thursday is your turn in the barrel."