Loser Jokes

A small company was on the brink of bankruptcy, so the owner came up with a sales incentive program to help motivate his salesmen.
Calling his two-man sales force into his office, he announced, "Things aren't looking good and unless we increase our sales, we won't be in operation much longer. In light of this, I have come up with a a contest for you. The guy with the highest sales will receive a blow job."
"What does the loser get?" asked one of the salesmen.
"The loser," replied the owner, glaring at both men, "gets to give it!"

Sanath - Swings At Nearly Anything That's Hurled
Kambli - Killed All Mediocre Bowling, Left Immediately
Kapil - Killed Aspiring Pacemen In Land
Sohail - Swore Once, Heralding An Infamous Loss
Prasad - Promised Revenge Against Sohail And Delivered
More - Mouthing Obscene Rubbish Everywhere
Gavaskar - Grafting Away Valiantly, Always Successfully Killed Any Result, Goes Around Venting Angry Spiel Kicking About Rudely
Azhar - At Zenith Had Ambrose Reeling
Azharuddin - Almost Zaheer-like His Artistry, Rivetting Umpteen... Devoted Doting Indian Nationals
Vishy - Vodka Is Sweet, He Yells
Tendulkar - Tiny, Exciting, Neverending Dynamo Undyingly Labours, Keeps A Record
Amarnath - After Many A Reincarnation, Now Acknowledged Top Hand
Prasanna - Prince Radiant Among Spinners, Astutely Nailed Nimble Attackers
Bedi - Beautifully Executed Deliveries Indefinitely
Chandra - Cleverly Hides Another Nagging Delivery Really more...

Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irishman. One of the Englishmen walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder, and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a drunken loser."
"Oh really? Hmm, didn't know that."
Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a loser, and he didn't care." The second Englishman remarked, "You just don't know how to set him off...watch and learn." So the second Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was lying, cheating, idiotic, low-life scum!"
"Oh really? Hmm, didn't know that."
Shocked beyond belief, the Englishman went back to his buddies. "You're right. He's unshakable!"
The third Englishman remarked, "Boys, I'll really tick him off... just watch." So the third Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and more...

A small company was on the edge of bankruptcy. The owner summoned his two-man sales force into his office. "Things aren't going too well, guys," he announced grimly. "So to perk up sales I'm announcing a contest. The guy with the most sales gets a blow job."

"What does the loser get?" asked one of the salesmen.

The owner looked at both men and said, "The loser gets to give it."

Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irishman. So, one of the Englishmen walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder, and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a drunken loser.""Oh really, hmm, didnt know that."Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a loser, and he didnt care." The second Englishman remarked, "You just dont know how to set him off... watch and learn." So, the second Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was lying, cheating, idiotic, low-life scum!""Oh really, hmm, didnt know that."Shocked beyond belief, the Englishman went back to his buddies. "Youre right. Hes unshakable!"The third Englishman remarked, "Boys, Ill really tick him off... just watch." So the third Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped hi m on the shoulder and said, "I hear St. more...