Licence Jokes / Recent Jokes
A driver is pulled over by a police man.
Man: Is there a problem Officer?
Officer: Sir, you were speeding.
Man: Oh I see.
Officer: Can I see your licence please?
Man: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Man: Lost it 4 times for drink driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration
papers please.
Man: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Man: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Man: Yes, and I killed and raped the owner.
Officer: You what?
Man: She's in the boot if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away
to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5
police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly
approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer2: Sir, could you step out of your vehicle
please! The man steps out of his vehicle.
Man: Is there a problem sir?
Officer2: One of my officers told me that you more...
221. What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla? Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do...
222. Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on here.
223. A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.
224. How about the suicide blonde, she dyed by her own hand.
225. A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
226. A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the more...
221. What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla? Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do...222. Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on here.223. A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.224. How about the suicide blonde, she dyed by her own hand.225. A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"226. A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was more...
A deal was struck between an industrialist and a government minister for the sanction of a licence for Rs. ten lakhs to be paid in cash. A note sanctioning the issue of licence was prepared and put up to the minister for his signature.
The industrialist, not being sure of the minister's intentions, brought Rs. five lakhs and handed them over to the minister's secretary - the remaining five to be paid on issue of the licence.
The file came back with the minister's remark:' Not accepted.'
The industrialist promptly paid the remaining five lakhs and the file was taken back to the minister who simply added the letter' E' to the' not':' Note accepted.'
It is about problems that can arise if you give dog a bad name. This is how it goes:
"Everybody who has a dog calls him' Rover' or' Boy'. I call mine' Sex'. He's a great pal but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.
"When I went to city hall to renew his dog licence, I told the clerk I would like a licence for Sex. He said' I'd like one, too!' Then I said:' But this is a dog.' He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said,' You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was nine years old.' He winked and said,' You must have been quite a kid.'
"When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex.
"He said:' You don't need a special room. As long as you pay your bill we don't care what you do.' I said:' Look, you don't seem to understand, Sex keeps me awake at night.' The clerk said:' Funny, I have the same more...