Licence Jokes / Recent Jokes

Those days in Sri Lanka everybody must have licence for their shot guns. U rawana messed up every thing and he forgot to get licence. On the last day he rushed to govt kachcheri that the place where licence are issued and talked to the counter clerk and said " I want to get licence for my gun, can I do that now?" But the counter was dull of hearing " licence for what???" U rawana said " gun... gun... You dont know gun? G for Gesus ( Jesus)U for urope (Europe) N for numonia (Pneumonia)??????????

Why do you need a driver's licence to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

221. What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla? Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do...


222. Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on here.


223. A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well! " and turned around an drove home.

On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.


224. How about the suicide blonde, she dyed by her own hand.


225. A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"


226. A blonde was walking more...

Q: Why do you need a licence for a dog and not for a cat? A: Cats can't drive! Q: What do you call a dog in the middle of a muddy road? A: A mutt in a rut! Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a blind mole? A: A dog that keeps barking up the wrong tree! Q: What do you call a happy Lassie? A: A jolly collie! Q: What do you call a nutty dog in Australia? A: A dingo-ling! Q: What dog loves to take bubble baths? A: A shampoodle! Q: How do you catch a runaway dog? A: Hide behind a tree and make a noise like a bone! Q: What dogs are best for sending telegrams? A: Wire haired terriers!! Q: What kind of dog does a vampire prefer? A: Any kind of bloodhound! Q: What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers? A: A bud hound!

221. What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla? Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do... 222. Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on here. 223. A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well! " and turned around an drove home. On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms. 224. How about the suicide blonde, she dyed by her own hand. 225. A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?" 226. A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when more...

Everybody who has a dog names him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine "Sex". Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to city hall to renew his dog licence, I told the clerk I would like a licence for sex. He said "I'd like one too". Then I said "but this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said " you don't understand, I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said " you must have been quite a kid".
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took my dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said "every room in this place is for sex." I said "you don't understand, Sex keeps me awake all night." The clerk said "me too." One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told more...

Why do you need a licence for a dog and not for a cat? Cats can't drive!