Lecturer Jokes / Recent Jokes

A lecturer at a medical college asked a colleague to help him with a shenanigan. He explained that he was shortly conducting a tour for prospective students, during which they would be coming down to the vaults to get their first look at a corpse. The idea was that his friend would play the corpse, and when his drawer was opened and the visitors were examining he would suddenly jump to his feet, thereby scaring the life out of them.
The friend agreed, and at the appointed hour the lecturer loaded him into the cold storage unit.
It was only when he was inside that he realized that the storage unit was not divided into individual cubicles. Instead, each slab was suspended on rails in a large open chamber, and he was surrounded by corpses on all sides.
After a few minutes he found the whole thing a bit too creepy, and he began hesitantly to call out things like, "Errm, Dave... maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all... d'you think you could let me out, I've changed more...

A lecturer teaching medicine was tutoring a class on 'Observation'. He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid. "This", he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant to color, smell, sight, and taste."
After saying this, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched on in amazement, most, in disgust. But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped one finger into the jar and then put it into their mouth.
After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. "If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my 2nd finger into the jar and my 3rd finger into my mouth."

A lecturer at a medical college asked a colleague to help him with a shenanigan. He explained that he was shortly conducting a tour for prospective students, during which they would be coming down to the vaults to get their first look at a corpse. The idea was that his friend would play the corpse, and when his drawer was opened and the visitors were examining he would suddenly jump to his feet, thereby scaring the life out of them.
The friend agreed, and at the appointed hour the lecturer loaded him into the cold storage unit.
It was only when he was inside that he realized that the storage unit was not divided into individual cubicles. Instead, each slab was suspended on rails in a large open chamber, and he was surrounded by corpses on all sides.
After a few minutes he found the whole thing a bit too creepy, and he began hesitantly to call out things like, "Errm, Dave... maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all... d'you think you could let me out, I've more...

A lecturer teaching medicine was tutoring a class on 'Observation'. He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid.
"This", he explained to the class, "is urine. In order to be a doctor, you must be observant to color, smell, sight, and taste."
After saying this, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched on in amazement, most, in disgust. But, being the good students that they were, the jar was passed around and, one by one, they dipped one finger into the jar jar and then put it into their mouth.
After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. "Had any of you been observant, you would have noticed that I put my second finger into the jar and my third finger into my mouth."

A lecturer teaching medicine was tutoring a class on 'Observation'.
He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid. "This", he explained, "is
urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant to colour, smell,
sight and taste."
After saying this, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into
his mouth. His class watched on in amazement, most, in disgust.
But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed,
and one by one, they dipped one finger into the jar and then put
it into their mouth.
After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. "If
anyof you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put
my second finger into the jar and my third finger into my mouth."

Hi, I've been studyinbg Engineering @ Coimbatore for a year now. This thesis is from my experiance.
These laws have been proven to be accurate during an experiment using 21 malayalee Engineering students of Tamil Nadu, India.
1) The amount of time taken to study for a paper is inversely proportional to the marks obtained in that paper.
2) The amount of notes distributed by a lecturer corresponds inversely to the actual knowledge of that person on the subject.
3) The lecturer is always wrong, the only exception being when the person is reading from a text.
4) At any point of time, the deadline to submit a paper always comes two days ahead of the required time.
5) No matter how long you stare at the monitor, the Mailbox will not load in your college lab system until your allocated time is over.
6) Your code will develop errors only when a faculty member is within 5 mts of your person.
7) The amount of internal marks granted to a student is more...

A scientist has come up with proof of something students have known for years - chemistry lectures are boring. In an article published in the current issue of Chemistry in Britain, a university chemistry lecturer introduced a guest lecturer to a class of 50 doctoral candidates.
Then, he and his colleagues studied variations in what he calls the HTFDR - "head-to-floor distance reduction." After about an hour, the average HTFDR dropped from 135cm to 121cm, said the author of the study, who preferred to remain anonymous.
The HTFDR immediately bounced back to normal when the speaker uttered the magic words: "And in conclusion..."