Jar Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
    He then asked the students if the jar was full.
    They agreed that it was.
    The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
    He then asked the students again if the jar was full.
    They agreed it was.
    The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.
    The students responded with a unanimous "yes."
    The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.
    The students laughed.
    "Now," said more...

    A guy walks into a bar and sits on a stool. In front of him he sea? a big jar full of change and a little card that reads:
    Hello, if you would like to win all of this money you have to make the horse at the end of the bar laugh.
    COST $5
    So, he puts in five dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Two minutes later they come out and the horse is laughing so hard that he pissed on the floor. So the guy takes the money and leaves.
    The next day the same guy walks in the bar again and sea? the horse and the jar, this time it says:
    You can win all of this if you make the horse cry.
    COST $10
    So he puts in 10 dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Four minutes later they come out and the horse is crying like no body ever had.
    So the guy takes the jar but before he could leave the bartender asks “How did you do that? ”
    The guy says, “The first time I told him my dick was bigger than his and the second time I showed him! ”

    An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office and while there the Doctor asked for a sperm count.
    He gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
    The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
    The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help.
    She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezing' it between her knees, but still nothing."
    The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"
    The old man more...

    One day, John's tennis elbow was acting up and he decided to stop in and see a doctor. When he got to the doctor's office the nurse told him he could see the doctor in 15 minutes but, first he'd have to give a urine sample. John said that this was absurd but, the nurse insisted and John complied. 15 minutes later, John was ushered in to see the doctor." So that tennis elbow is really acting up, huh?" the doctor said." The nurse must have told you," said John, wondering how the Doctor knew." No. It was in your urinalysis." and the doctor continued to say that he had just purchased this new machine that could diagnose every physical condition with total accuracy based on the urine contents. John didn't believe a word of this but he did agree to provide another urine sample on check-up visit. Two days later, John was sitting at the kitchen table with his wife and his teenage daughter. He was telling them about this ridiculous machine. When John decided to more...

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