Kennedy Jokes / Recent Jokes
JFK's sister, Patricia Kennedy Lawford, 82, died on Sunday. Lawford's death makes her the first Kennedy in recent history to die of old age.
A plane was taking off from Kennedy. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight number 293, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth flight, Now sit back and relax. - OH MY GOD!" Silence Then, the captain came back on the intercom and said: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I an so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach said: "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"
MICHAEL KENNEDY What's the difference between John Denver and Michael Kennedy? John Denver made it alive out of Aspen. Has Elton John re-written any of his songs for Michael Kennedy? Not yet, but he's done one about the tree: "I'm Still Standing" How can you be sure that Michael was really a Kennedy? Check the family tree. A simple accident? Some witnesses insist there was a second tree at the snow-covered knoll... What do Michael and JFK Jr's magazine "George" have in common? Wood pulp. New bumper sticker...."Plant A Tree....Kill A Kennedy...." What will it take to reunite the four Kennedy brothers? A1: One more bullet. A2: A season lift pass.
Yesterday on our Superstar Talent Bitcom page, we got a comment on Episode 3. It came from a guy named John Kennedy. It said something like, “They did this on Extras, come up with something original.” Neil, who plays Avi on the show, woke me up and requested that I remove the comment, so I did. I think we were hoping for a few good comments prior to the hate mail and/or law suits.
Paraphrasing this piece by Teddy Roosevelt, “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”
So for all of you who are the watchers and not the doers in life, you can have your opinion(s), I can respect that, it’s a free more...
In memory of Ted Kennedy, a bridge in Martha's Vineyard will be named after him.
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached acomfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - OH MY GOD!"Silence.Then, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight-attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"
If Ted Kennedy, Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood andBill Clinton all had a spelling contest, which one would win? Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that harass is one word.