Danced Jokes

Our secretary heard this during a talent show at a retirement village.
A retirement village decided to hold a Singles Dance, at which this
very sweet 90-year-old gentleman met a very sweet 90-year-old lady,
and they danced and talked and laughed, and just hit it off great.
They continued to see each other for a while and enjoyed each other
so much, and danced so well together, etc., that they decided to
get married.
On their wedding night, they went to bed and he reached over and took her
hand and squeezed it, and she squeezed his hand back, and they went to
sleep.
On the second night, when they went to bed, he reached over and
squeezed her hand, and she squeezed his hand back, and they went to sleep.
On the third night, he reached over and took her hand, and she said, "Not
tonight, honey, I have a headache."

Twas the night before Christmas and throughout the White House,
Al Gore was eyeing Hillary, peering into her blouse.
The Secret Service were guarding the premises with care,
for a whole host of Democrats were vacationing there.
As Chelsea was nestled all snug in her bed,
dirty thoughts swam around Mr. Kennedy's head.
And Bill in his sportcoat; a heavy gray tweed,
had just fried his brain with some Mexican weed.
When out in the garden came a plethora of noise,
all drunken and rowdy: 'twas Newt and the boys!
Bill jumped to the window, and tore open the sash,
"It's a raid boys!" he cried, "Quick, go hide my stash!"
The pot in his blood and the moon on the snow,
gave a psychedelic haze to the objects below.
When what to Bill's frantic eyes should appear, but a slew
of Republicans and a keg of ice beer.
With a big House leader, all lively and fat:
He knew it was Newt, the proponent of GATT!
As more...

Twas the night before Christmas and throughout the White House, Al Gore was eyeing Hillary, peering into her blouse.The Secret Service were guarding the premises with care, for a whole host of Democrats were vacationing there.As Chelsea was nestled all snug in her bed, dirty thoughts swam around Mr. Kennedy's head.And Bill in his sportcoat; a heavy gray tweed, had just fried his brain with some Mexican weed.When out in the garden came a plethora of noise, all drunken and rowdy: 'twas Newt and the boys! Bill jumped to the window, and tore open the sash,"It's a raid boys!" he cried, "Quick, go hide my stash!"The pot in his blood and the moon on the snow, gave a psychedelic haze to the objects below.When what to Bill's frantic eyes should appear, but a slew of Republicans and a keg of ice beer.With a big House leader, all lively and fat:He knew it was Newt, the proponent of GATT! As viscous as vipers, the Republicans came, and Bill recognized them and called them by more...

Twas the night before Christmas and throughout the White House, Al Gore was eyeing Hillary, peering into her blouse. The Secret Service were guarding the premises with care, for a whole host of Democrats were vacationing there. As Chelsea was nestled all snug in her bed, dirty thoughts swam around Mr. Kennedy's head. And Bill in his sportcoat; a heavy gray tweed, had just fried his brain with some Mexican weed. When out in the garden came a plethora of noise, all drunken and rowdy:' twas Newt and the boys! Bill jumped to the window, and tore open the sash,"It's a raid boys!" he cried, "Quick, go hide my stash!"The pot in his blood and the moon on the snow, gave a psychedelic haze to the objects below. When what to Bill's frantic eyes should appear, but a slew of Republicans and a keg of ice beer. With a big House leader, all lively and fat: He knew it was Newt, the proponent of GATT! As viscous as vipers, the Republicans came, and Bill recognized them and called more...

Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy and beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them. Each priest had a small bell attached to his genitalia and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity. The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest (Carlos). As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off and fell clattering to the ground.Embarrassed, Carlos took a few steps forward, bent over to pick it up and set off all the other bells.