Keebler Jokes

North Pole -- In the wake of accusations of the sexual abuse of children by pop-star Michael Jackson, a former SantaCo employee has made startling allegations regarding the CEO of SantaCo, Santa Claus.

Roger Keebler, half-brother of the cookie mogul, and a long-time media bad boy, left SantaCo in November. Keebler, who leveled the accusations at a press conference last night, refused top detail the reasons for his departure from SantaCo. Though, in a written statement, he simply said that he left due to a disagreement over a claus (sic) in his contract and because it was "a matter of conscience."

Keebler claims that Claus (alias Kris Kringle) "likes to have little children sit on his lap and he promises them presents, including toys nd pets." Keebler claims to have arranged liaisons for Claus. "The old pervert likes malls." Keebler said, "and he even had me take PICTURES!" Keebler further alleged that Claus would apparently more...

Kellogg Co. on Friday recalled 16 products containing peanut butter due to possible salmonella contamination. The products include Keebler branded Peanut Butter Sandwich Crackers and Keebler Soft Batch Homestyle Peanut Butter Cookies. A spokesperson for Kellogg said if the salmonella outbreak continues, the company may have to layoff up to one hundred elves.

North Pole -- In the wake of accusations of the sexual abuse of children by pop-star Michael Jackson, a former SantaCo employee has made startling allegations regarding the CEO of SantaCo, Santa Claus.
Roger Keebler, half-brother of the cookie mogul, and a long-time media bad boy, left SantaCo in November. Keebler, who leveled the accusations at a press conference last night, refused top detail the reasons for his departure from SantaCo. Though, in a written statement, he simply said that he left due to a disagreement over a claus (sic) in his contract and because it was "a matter of conscience."
Keebler claims that Claus (alias Kris Kringle) "likes to have little children sit on his lap and he promises them presents, including toys nd pets." Keebler claims to have arranged liaisons for Claus. "The old pervert likes malls." Keebler said, "and he even had me take PICTURES!" Keebler further alleged that Claus would apparently more...

Chuck Norris has an ongoing feud with the Keebler elves. It started when they stole his idea for putting a kitchen in a tree. While the elves now make subpar cookies in the tree, Chuck’s tree contains a fully functioning crystal meth lab.