Jerk Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort - one that did not admit Jews.

The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, "Sorry, no room. The hotel is full." The Jewish lady said, "But your sign says that you have vacancies." The desk clerk stammered and then said curtly, "You know that we do not admit Jews. Now if you will try the other side of town..."

Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeable and said, "I'll have you know I converted to your religion."

The desk clerk said, "Oh, yeah, let me give you a little test. How was Jesus born?"

Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born to a virgin named Mary in a little town called Bethlehem."

"Very good," replied the hotel clerk. "Tell me more."

Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born in a manger."

"That's right," more...

Q: How do you crash a houseboat party?
A: You just barge in!
Q: What happened to the water polo team?
A: The horses drowned.
First Law of Bicycling: No matter which way you ride, its uphill and against the wind.
Anyone can win - unless there happens to be a second entry.
There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.
One should be careful to keep his mouth shut - when swimming and when angry.
A swimming pool is a crowd of people with water in it.
Fishing: Just a jerk at one end of the line waiting for a jerk at the other end.
Creative golf: Stuffing your shots with such precision theat your boss actually believes he beat you fair and square.
Good friend: Anyone who doesn't play as well as you do - and does it consistently.
Class: Demonstrated not by whether you win or lose, but how you tear up your scorecard.
If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know.
If you don't more...

One morning, a parish priest was opening his mail.
He took a single sheet of paper out of an envelope and unfolded it. Looking at the paper, he found that only one word had been written... 'JERK'.
At mass the following Sunday, he announced to his congregation, "I have known many people who have written letters and have forgotten to sign their name. However, this week I received a letter from someone who signed their name, but forgot to write a letter... "

Tom and Jeni are having one of their occasional disputes of opinion. Tom took off his pants and threw them at Jeni, yelling, "Hey, woman, can you fill these pants up?" "Of course not, you jerk. You know I can't." "You're right. You can't. I wear the pants in this family." So Jeni took off her panties and threw them at Tom, yelling, "Hey, jerk, can you get into these panties?" "Hell no! They're too small and dainty!" "And you won't either, until you change your treatment of me!"

A man walks into a bar on the top floor of a skyscraper. He sits down and orders a beer. After taking a drink he sees the guy next to him go over to the window and jump out!
"Holy cow! Did you see that!? That guy just jumped out the window!"
The bartender does nothing.
So the man takes another sip. A minute later the same guy walks in, orders another drink, chugs it, and jumps out the window again.
"Jesus! He just jumped again!"
The bartender ignores the man.
So the man sits puzzled. The guy comes back into the bar, and orders another drink.
"How did you survive that jump?".."I ordered a floatie drink, if you drink it in a certain amount of time, you can float."
So the guy quickly orders a' floatie' drink. He takes it from the bartender, and chugs it. He then jumps out the window and...SPLAT! Right on the sidewalk!
The Bartender then says, "You know, Superman...you can be a real jerk when you're more...

Recommended=Me encoded Mr
Unrated=Rude ant
Random jokes=Mad jerk on so
Animal jokes=I'm anal jokes
At Work jokes=Jerk two as OK
Bar jokes=Jerk a sob
Blond jokes=Old jobs keen
Children=Lend rich
Children jokes=Jerk nice holds
College=Cell ego
College jokes=Ego jokes cell
Gross jokes=SOS! Go jerks
Insults=In sluts
Insults jokes=Jesus! To links
Knock-Knock=Conk con KKK
Knock-Knock jokes=Jokes conk con KKK
Lawyer jokes=Sleek raw joy
Lightbulb=Blight Bul
Lightbulb jokes=The jobs kill bug
Medical=Decimal
Medical jokes=Decimal jokes
Men / Women=Now. Men me
Men / Women jokes=Men jokes now. Me
News / Politics=Win top slices
News / Politics jokes=Win jokeless topics
one-liner=Senile nor
one-liner jokes=On sleeker joins
Puns jokes=Junk poses
Redneck=Red neck
Redneck jokes=Knocked jeers
Religious=Is or guile
Religious jokes=O Jesus! OK girlie
Sports jokes=Jerk posts more...

This guy enters a bar located at the top of the Empire State Building in New York. It looked like a nice place and he then takes a seat at the bar next to another guy. "This is a nice place. I've never been here before," the first guy says.
"Oh really?" the other replies, "It's also a very special bar."
"Why is that?" the first guy asks.
"Well, you see that painting on the far wall? That's an original Van Gogh, and this stool I'm sitting on was on the Titanic."
"Gee, that's amazing!" the first guy says.
"Not only that, but you see that window over there, fourth from the right? Well, the wind does strange things outside that window. If you jump out, you'll fall about 50 feet before the wind catches you and you're pushed back up."
"No way, that's impossible," the first guy replies.
"Not at all, take a look," the other man replies and walks over to the window, followed more...