James Jokes / Recent Jokes

After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington.

"How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" Washington, slapping Osama in the face.

Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose.

James Madison comes up next, and says "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on Osama's knee.

Osama is subject to similar beatings from James Monroe, and 65 other people who have the same love for liberty and America. As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.

As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams - "this is not what I was promised!"

An angel replies "I more...

James was playing a round of golf with the club pro one day. After 18 holes they went into the clubhouse. James asked the pro: "What do you think of my game?" The pro replied: "You should shortened your clubs by 1 inch." James asked if the pro thought this would help his game. To which the pro said, " No! It will help them fit in the trash can!"

Talbot and his son James were called to Mrs. Cren-shaws classroom. "Mr. Talbot," said the teacher, "I asked James Who shot Abraham Lincoln? and he said that he didnt do it!" "Well, teacher," said Talbot, "if my kid said he didnt do it he didnt do it!" Father and son left the school, and on their way home Talbot turned to the boy and asked, "Tell me, son, did you do it?"

Jessie James and his gang are attacking a train outside of Oklahoma City. As they go through each car, they line up the travelers and prepare to take all their loot. As Jesse entered the first car he yelled, "Okay, everybody, we're going to rape all the men and rob all the women!"Upon hearing this, his brother Frank turned to him and said, "ah, Jessie, don't you mean we're going to rob all the men and rape all the women?" With that said, a little fairy in the corner pops up and says..."Listen, you heard Jessie... he's the boss!"

When Bond Meets A Cyberabad Guy, James Bond: "My Name's Bond...(Smiles And Then Says).... James Bond. And You?" Telugu Guy:
"I Am Sai... (Smiles And Then Says) Venkata Sai... Siva Venkata Sai... Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai.... Srinivasulu
Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Rajasekhara Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai..... Sitaramanjaneyulu Rajasekhara
Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai.... Bommiraju Sitaramanjaneyulu Rajasekhara Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata
Sai....

After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office.
"Mr. James, your records and your heroic behaviour indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck."
"Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. James replied. "I hung him up to dry".

After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office.

"Mr. James, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck."

"Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. James replied. "I hung him up to dry."